Jason Mitchell

10 Things Learned From 10 Years Of Marriage

2011-08-05T14:55:00.004-04:00

1. Get On The Same Page With Money
Simply put, I have seen this issue of money ruin marriages. RUIN marriages. You have GOT to get on the same page with your spouse about how money will and will not be used in your home. Money issues create more stress, more chaos, more arguments, more resentment, than almost any other issue. I am SOOOO grateful to say that out of all the things Jenny and I have struggled with over the years, money, for the most part, hasn’t been one of those. Not because we had or have a lot of it. In fact we have had seasons where were REALLY low in the account. But there wasn’t stress. Because we knew where we stood on our convictions about money.

We knew we weren’t going to take on credit card debt, so no arguments there.
We knew we would always tithe and give to the local church, so no arguments there.
We knew we weren’t going to buy completely unnecessary purchases in order to keep up with cultural trends, so no arguments there.

You have got to be aligned in how you will spend your money and what is important or it will come back to bite you in huge ways.

2. Get On Same Page With Faith
There is no more important issue in marriage than submitting your marriage to the Lordship of Jesus. And there is no more difficult road to walk than when one spouse is longing to follow Jesus and the other isn’t. I know that sometimes it is only after the wedding that one spouse gives their lives to trusting Jesus and the other doesn’t. But if you know going into a wedding that you are longing to pursue Jesus and your future spouse isn’t, GET OUT OF THE ENGAGEMENT.

If you came to Christ after the wedding day and your spouse refuses to, you have a commitment to pursue Jesus above all things. However, you have also committed yourself to your spouse and you have no right to leave them for this sole reason. Your role now is to be Jesus to them.

Show them exactly who Jesus is by…
Serving them.
Praying for them.
Encouraging them.
Loving them.
Being compassionate to them.
And laying down your life for them.

3. Don’t Take Things Personally
Your spouse will say things with an unintended tone, forget to follow through on what they promised, and give you looks that could be interpreted multiple ways. You have got to learn not to take things personally in marriage. When your spouse points out that you forgot to sweep after mowing, it is not a personal attack on your character. It is a statement of fact. Learn not to take things personally and it will save a lot of arguments over nothing.

4. Always Give Your Spouse The Benefit Of The Doubt
This one is HUGE! You will face a failed expectation of some sort almost each day. Dinner wasn’t what you thought, they responded in a way that was hurtful, they spent money on something you think was unwise. Whatever that failed expectation is you always have a moment that you can choose what to think about your spouse. You can either carry out the negative thoughts about them and let them know. Or you can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I know there have been times where I have hurt Jenny or I have not met her expectations and she has had to tell herself, “I would’ve never done what he just did, but I also know Jason’s intentions are good and that in the end, Jason is for us and would never do anything to intentionally hurt our marriage.” Like I said, this one is HUGE because if you don’t practice giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt you are on a fast train to resentment, bitterness, and self-righteousness.

5. Make Allowance For Faults
It is so easy to always think about all the things your spouse DOESN’T do. The things they SHOULD’VE said. The way they DON’T clean up. The respect they DON’T give you. But your spouse is human. Which means they will make mistakes. They will not get it all right. They will forget to follow through on things. They will burn the food at times. They will shrink your sweaters (wooops – 1st year of marriage story there).

You want to know how to tell if you have a marriage and a home that makes allowance for each other’s faults? One simple way is that your home will have a lot of laughter. Laughter means everyone is relaxed and can be themselves. And you can only be yourself when you know you are loved and accepted because of who you are, not because of what you have or haven’t done. There is no worse kind of home than the home where everyone is on eggshells. It means grace has moved out. And when grace moves out of a home and a marriage it will make for a miserable relationship.

6. Make Your Spouse Your Priority
This one isn’t complicated. If your spouse isn’t a priority it will only take a second for them to know it. Your relationship with your spouse is more important than your work. More important than your friends. More important than your hobbies. More important than your car. And yes, even more important your kids. So find ways to communicate to your spouse that there is no greater priority in your life than them.

And by the way, this isn’t something you can tell your spouse. It doesn’t work to say, “You are my greatest priority.” This is something that can only be demonstrated. So save the words and just find the things to do that will let them know.

7. Make Memories
Studies show that couples are significantly more likely to survive turmoil in their marriage if they share at least 8 positive memories together. So here is some practical application, make lots of memories. Go on day trips, try new restaurants, go on vacations, create inside jokes, and go through your photo album every now and then together to relive some of those memories.

8. You Will Never Change Your Spouse
I am not sure I really got this one until after a lot of years of hurting Jenny. If you think you will change your spouse, you won’t. So stop trying. Only your spouse can change themselves.

And nagging, bribing, pestering, and shaming them to change will NEVER work! Relax and enjoy them as they really are, not as you want them to be. Believing you can change someone will only lead you to resent them for not changing into your own personal vision of who they should be.

9. Do Whatever It Takes To Help Your Spouse Come Alive
Part of the role you have as a spouse is to help your partner reach the fullest potential they have as a human created in the image of God. Simply put, you have a responsibility to enable and empower your spouse to do the things that bring them to life. The more alive they are the better spouse they will be as well.

If exercise brings them to life, give them time and space to exercise.
If it’s reading and studying, then encourage this.
If it’s being outside, then give them freedom to get outside.
If it’s working with children, watch your kids one afternoon a week so they can volunteer with children in the community.

Whatever it is for your spouse, help them go after it full speed.

10. Busyness Will Lead You To Simply Living Together
We live in a culture addicted to busyness. Sitting around with nothing to do on a Friday night is almost seen as a bit prudish. We fill our days with work and our nights with hobbies and then you throw kids in the mix and the whole thing blows up. There is nothing Jenny and I have had to fight off more than encroaching busyness. There will ALWAYS be someone else to have dinner with, always another event worth going to, always another commitment for you to make.

In the seasons where it has felt like Jenny and I were just roommates (yes we have had several of those seasons) the common thread has always been extraordinary busyness. One rule we try our very best to live by is that we will not be out doing stuff at night more than twice a week. We want 5 nights together. That may not be your rule but unless you have something in place anything and everything will call for your attention. That is, anything and everything except your marriage.

God’s Given You Some Boogie-Woogie So Let It Out

2011-07-27T12:41:00.001-04:00

I went running with friend recently in the 95 degree Georgia heat and loved every minute of it. My friend decided to go running with me even though he hadn’t been running very much lately and knew it would be very difficult for him. We knew going in that there would be a few times on the run that he would need to take a break and walk a bit.

There was one hill towards the last part of the run that was tough and my hope was to encourage him to run it out to the top of the hill, which he did. Once we got to the top of the hill I knew he would be ready to start cooling down and walking even though we still had almost a mile back to our finish.

This forced me into a decision. I could walk out the rest of the run with him or I could run on ahead and finish the run. The reality is that I was beginning to run out of steam as well, but I knew I had it in me to finish running. This wasn’t new to me and I had run this distance in these conditions countless times before.

As I considered whether to walk with him or run it out, leaving him behind, this thought struck me, “I can’t hold back because of him. The best thing I can do for him and for me is to finish this run strong.” Walking with him wouldn’t have pushed him at all and it certainly wouldn’t have pushed me in what I knew I had the ability to do.

The bottom line is that I had the capacity and ability to finish the run. Which means I also had the responsibility to finish the run.

So I told myself on that hot and humid country road, “I have the ability to finish running, so I MUST finish running.”

I’ve been listening to John Lee Hooker for years and one of my favorite songs is “Boogie Chillen”. In that song he says, “I heard momma and poppa talking. I heard poppa tell momma to ‘Let that boy boogie-woogie. Cause it’s in him, and it’s got to come out.’”

I think God has given each of us a little boogie-woogie*. It’s those gifts, strengths, abilities, passions, that are simply in us and they have to come out.

Some of us have to write. Some of us have to sing. Some of us have to work in the soil. Some of us have to create order out of organizational chaos. Some of us have to work with numbers. Some of us have to speak. Some of us have to investigate further. Some of us have to give our opinion. Some of us have to throw parties. Some of us have to paint. Some of us have to run.

We all have a little boogie-woogie in us and we’ll know what it is because it’s that thing that has to come out.

I have the privilege of having friends all around the country who are dynamic communicators in their local churches. Most of them share teaching responsibilities with a team of communicators at their church. I was talking to a friend of mine once that is part of a team of communicators at their church and he was describing a strange tension that could develop on a team of teachers.

With the different personalities and styles among the communicators on their team the church had the potential to really connect with one or two of the teachers but not with the others.

He asked me whether or not he should hold back on his creativity in communicating so that he doesn’t make the other communicators look less creative, or less relevant.

I told him as strongly as I could, “Absolutely not. Do not hold back what is in your ability to create.” I told my friend that he ought to go all out and as that happens, the bar will be raised for every other communicator on his team. Holding back does nothing to push them or my friend. That would be the worst thing to do.

I read this from Steven Pressfield recently in his book, “The War of Art” – “The awakening artist must be ruthless, not only with herself but with others. Once you make your break, you can’t turn around for your buddy who catches his trouser leg on a barbed wire. The best thing you can do for that friend (and he’d tell you this himself, if he really is your friend) is to get over the wall and keep motating. The best and only thing that one artist can do for another is to serve as an example and an inspiration.”

You cannot, you MUST NOT, hold back what you have the ability to do because you don’t want to leave others behind. In fact, you may even be guilted by some around you to hold back, just be simple, just walk a little while, just do what everyone else does, etc… To these you must say, “I have it in me and it has to come out.”

Holding back on what you have the ability to do helps NOBODY in the long run.

Yes I know that there are moments where leadership may mean you and I going back and walking with someone when they need us to walk. But I’m convinced that most of the time, true leadership is running ahead when you it’s in your capacity to do so, all the while encouraging and inspiring those who feel like they need to walk to pick up the pace. To push themselves past comfort so they will go to another level.

And it’s no small point that after I finished the run, I looked back and saw my friend finishing his run also.

And he was running.

*Yes, I know that John Lee Hooker was using the phrase “boogie-woogie” as a metaphor for something entirely different and a bit more crass. So I hereby baptize the phrase “boogie-woogie” and use it for more redemptive purposes.

You Won't Always Get Your Butt Kicked

2011-07-24T18:33:00.004-04:00

There is a hill in our community that I CAN NOT STAND! I never have liked it. And tonight I decided to run a route that made sure I had to climb that hill. While I know that my body will pay for it tomorrow, I don't care, I beat that hill. I made it to the top and smacked it in it's face.

I COULD NOT have run that hill 5 years ago. How do I know? Because I tried running it 5 years ago and failed.

This is exactly how spiritual formation and discipleship works. There are struggles, temptations, thought patterns, that 5 years ago had a much deeper hold on me than they do today. In fact, there are some issues that years ago I thought I would never move past. But today some of those issues aren’t even there any more.

Don’t get me wrong. I have my own different set of issues today. In fact, I have some struggles today that are kicking my butt at times. But I have hope that this won’t always be the case. If God has moved me past those struggles of yesterday can't I trust that God will do it with the struggles of today.

The first Christians talked about these ideas by using phrases like, “maturing in Christ” or “being brought to completion in Christ.” It’s basically the idea that as you and I keep pursuing, keep running after Jesus, the hills that beat us today won’t be so tough 5 years from now.

If you are new to following Jesus then take encouragement in knowing that some of the issues you feel like you will never get past right now may not even be issues in the future.

I know you are struggling now. I know the hill beats you now. I know you keep falling to the same old temptations but this will not always be so if you keep running. Because soon your body will find a new normal. Where those destructive needs and thoughts don’t own you anymore.

But it takes time. Sometimes years. It takes diligence. It takes choosing to get up tomorrow and run again even when it’s tough.

Godly character is formed in this way. By waking up each day and renewing your vows to Jesus.

So please know that the hills that beat you today will not beat you in the future. Because God has started a good work in you and God always finishes what God started.

12 Years In: Some Things I Have Learned About Ministry

2011-07-04T15:38:00.003-04:00

In my early twenties I thought leadership was figuring out ways to give everyone what they want.
Now I think leadership is about being clear about where you believe God is leading the ministry.

I used to think a pastor should be liked by everyone.
Now I think that there is no way possible for this to happen. Over the years I have had several people close to me part ways with our ministry because of disagreement.

I used to think that my first priority was serving the church.
Now I think that my first priority is to serve my family.

I used to think that the point of a sermon was to give answers.
Now I think that the point of a sermon is to raise questions.

I used to think that the greatest hindrance to God’s work in the world were “sinful” people.
Now I think the greatest hindrance to God’s work in the world are the “self-righteous” who hide behind the veil of religion.

I used to think that the smaller the church, the better people would experience “community”.
Now I think “community” is about the spirit and openness of the people at the church no matter the size.

I used to think that ministry was about spending lots of hours at the church.
Now I think that ministry is about using my hours to be fully present, living with an awareness to God’s leading no matter where it takes me.

I used to think the Kingdom of God was something that was coming “one day”.
Now I think that for those with ears to hear and eyes to see, God’s Kingdom work is breaking into the here and now.

I used to think devotional time was something you did for 15 or so minutes in the morning.
Now I think devotional time is seeing every moment of every day as sacred potential for God to breathe into you.

I used to think that I should try and prove my point to someone who disagreed with me.
Now I think it is better to listen and agree to disagree.

I used to think leadership was about making a decision and sticking with it even if it is the wrong decision.
Now I think leadership is owning up to failures by admitting where I have dropped the ball.

I used to think that what people wanted most in a leader was confidence.
Now I think that what people want most in a leader is authenticity.

I used to think the church was just for Christians.
Now I think the church is for everyone.

Leaders Make The Ask Of People

2011-05-05T10:46:00.002-04:00

I got an email recently from a couple looking for any help I could give them as they try and navigate their young marriage and all that comes with that. As I read through their email I was burdened to help them by trying to connect them with another married couple that have years of experience under their belt. As I thought about who I could connect them with, one couple come to mind that I thought could provide wisdom and guidance.

I knew I needed to ask this older couple but I also knew that their plate was already full with work and other ministry commitments. So I debated about asking. However, I decided not to say "no" for them. The next time I saw this older couple I explained the situation and asked if they would be willing to walk beside this young couple right now.

They thought about it for a bit but then told me they would be willing to do so.

As I left them and the conversation I said, “Thank you so much for considering this and being willing to help.”

Then they responded, “Thank you for asking us. We are honored you thought of us.”

And to think, I almost said “no” for them.

One of the things I have learned over the years in leading is that it isn’t up to leaders to say "yes" or "no" for people. It is up to us to make the ask. It is simply our job to call people up to being a part of something great and trust them to respond in the way they need to.

I was struck by their response – “We are honored you thought of us.”

A lot of times what we feel might be a burden to someone is actually an honor to them.

So when leading, don’t be afraid to ask people to do big things and help out in significant ways.

Don’t say “no” for them.

It may not work out for them to help out with a particular project but they will be honored you asked.

All You Have Left Is Life Change

2011-04-27T08:56:00.003-04:00

I was reminded today of a sermon I heard that explored some of the research Alan Hirsch has done.

In the year 100 they estimate that there were 25,000 Christians. They were illegally Christian, they had no buildings, and it was difficult to join the church. They estimate that by the year 320 there were 20 million Christians in the Roman Empire. It went from 25,000 to 20 million in roughly 200 years. So apparently with this movement, make it illegal, make it hard to get into, take away all of their buildings, and this movement thrives.

Why?

Because if you take away the buildings, take away the budgets, make it illegal, make it hard to join, then all you are left with is people going, "Hey, my life has been changed." Stories of life change is all you have left.

Apparently that is more powerful than all the other stuff.

Stop Going To Church For You

2011-04-04T11:53:00.004-04:00

If you are a follower of Jesus then you have to at some point remind yourself as to why you go to church. Who is church really for and what are you supposed to experience while gathered with the church?

I would suggest that if you are a Christian then you do not go to church for you. You go to church as an act of obedience and worship to God. It is a communal way of saying that our schedules, our time, and our energy will be redirected on one day a week to acknowledge that God is God and we are not.

God and God alone is what drives us to gathering together on weekends.

I have actually heard people leaving gatherings before saying things like, "So what did you get out of it?"

Really? What did you get out of it?

Maybe the better question is, "So what did God get out of you?" Did you worship even when you didn't feel like it? Did you create a welcoming and warm environment for the people you bumped into? Did you notice the person standing by themselves looking out of place waiting for someone to help them find where to go? Did you bring all you had to serving kids or students or parking cars or running a sound board?

What did you get out of it? You won't find that question anywhere in the scriptures as an adequate gauge on how "effective" a church is.

If you really want to know if you are going to church just to get something or to bring something you can tell by the responses and questions you ask after a gathering.

Questions like...
How was the teaching this weekend?
Was the music good? Did I like the songs?
How long did I have to sit in traffic?

These all indicate that maybe, just maybe, you're there to get something. But the church doesn't exist for you.

The church doesn't exist for you.

The church exist for God's glory. For God's love and grace to be made known in the world. To be the conduit for God's kingdom to break on the scene.

Gathering with the church isn't about you. It's about God. It's about surrendering ourselves for just a small part of our week and saying, "We are here for one reason and one reason alone, to seek God together and bring all we have for his glory."

I can't tell you how inspired I am to be around people at our church who I know don't personally like the style of music we play. They don't personally like the way we set up our environments. They are uncomfortable with pastors in jeans and Chuck Taylor's and wouldn't be caught dead wearing them.

And yet, they are a part of what God is doing here because there is a conviction that runs deeper than music styles and clothing. It is their conviction that the church doesn't exist for them. So while they may not sing the songs we sing at church while driving around in their cars during the week, they come to our gatherings asking what they can bring, not what they can get.

And while they may not agree with every decision leadership makes, agreement isn't the most important issue, God's glory is. And on that we can agree.

Your church will make decisions that you will not agree with. They will start some new ministries and put to death others. They will have weekends where you feel you "got something out of it" and others you feel no different. But agreement and everyone getting something out of it was never the point.

God's glory and worship and gracious call to everyone outside of his family is the point.

It's not about you.

And it's not about me.

Not Church's Job To Raise Your Kid

2011-03-23T18:01:00.005-04:00

I was on our KidMin website today and saw a picture my son in Oyster Bay, our ministry environment for 2 year olds. I had no clue it was there. But I was reminded of something while looking at the picture.

It isn't the church's job to raise your child to love Jesus.

If you are the parent, it's your job. Plain and simple.

Too many parents send their kids to a piano instructor to teach their child piano, and a soccer coach to teach them soccer, and so many of them figure they'll just send them to a pastor, or Life Group leader, or KidMin to teach them... God.

The reality is, I will not answer before God for your child. You will.

But I can say with confidence that at LCBC we do want to come alongside parents. We want to help parents in that journey because for any of us that are parents, let's admit it, sometimes we need help. So our church staff works really hard to create environments that our kids are engaged in and can discover Jesus.

And looking at this picture, I was struck by how my son was intrigued by whatever was happening up front. His attention was caught. And I am not surprised because I know the quality of our KidMin team.

But this picture also reminds me the ultimate responsibility of raising my son and daughter to love God and love others is mine and mine alone.

Heretics and Hell

2011-03-11T16:21:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago Rob Bell, pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church, was trending on Twitter because of a promotional piece his publisher put out in advance of his new book. His book is called, “Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, And The Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived”. You can check out the video promo for the book here.

Then it all went down. Without even have read the book, one blogger with a wide readership questioned whether or not Rob Bell is a universalist, another prominent pastor with thousands of followers sent out a tweet simply saying “Farewell Rob Bell”, and then it went viral in more ways than one. One person after another lining up to call Bell a heretic only to be met with equally strong opposition from those who support Bell.

Hashtag’s tell the story well: #robbell #universalist #heretic

If you are unfamiliar with what universalism is, go here to see Scot McKnight’s helpful summary.

A few questions the whole Rob Bell thing has raised for me.

1. What is a heretic?
Rob has been called a heretic because of the apparent content of his new book. Trust me, anyone who has ever preached, written, and had any public role in trying to talk about things of faith has been labeled a heretic by someone else. The word is so commonly used that it really doesn’t mean anything anymore. But what is a heretic? I don’t mean by Webster’s standard. I know the definition. It is technically someone who steps outside of orthodox beliefs in a particular field and in a religious setting it obviously means someone who holds beliefs contrary to those of the Church. But this raises way more questions for me.

First, who is “the church” that sets these beliefs? There aren’t councils anymore. In fact there are thousands of denominations, and thousands of sects within those denominations that would have nuanced doctrinal assumptions and beliefs. Which technically means every Christian is a heretic to someone else.

Secondly, what is “orthodox” to begin with? You would think that Christians may agree on this one, but they don’t. I believe this is the real issue behind the other issues. There are three levels to Christian belief and practice. The first is Core beliefs. These are very few and are those beliefs and doctrinal assumptions that are foundational to Christianity and cannot be argued. They are the essential truths of the gospel. Take these away and there is no more good news. I would suggest that these are what should be labeled as orthodox. Some examples of this might be that Jesus is the Son of God, the resurrection, and maybe just a few others. The next level out are Convictions. These convictions are based in the scriptures and can be defended by pointing to particular passages. However, there is room for disagreement with convictions since these issues seem to be rooted in interpretive assumptions. Some examples of convictions would be the exercise of spiritual gifts (speaking in tongues), old earth/new earth debates, women in leadership and ministry, etc… There is a ton of room for movement and freedom in interpretation and practice of these doctrines and convictions. Then the last level out is Preferences. These are based on cultural and personal taste. I like rock and roll and prefer electric guitars in songs. Some like organs. Neither is right or wrong. Some prefer stained glass, others warehouses. Again, preference.

So our beliefs and doctrinal assumption and practice fall into these categories:

Core – Absolute essential truth. Orthodox. Only a few things.

Convictions – Not core but important to your particular denomination or strain of Christian practice. Can be defended biblically but can be argued against biblically as well.

Preferences – Simply a matter of taste. Wide ranging.

So where does “universalism” fall into this continuum? I would suggest it falls into the convictions realm. It can be defended and can be spoken against using the same scriptures. You have some of the early church fathers who would have been known as universalist and some who were not. Throughout the centuries of the church there have been God-fearing, Jesus loving people on both sides of this issue.

What happens is that most people make their Preferences and Convictions the main point. They invert the categories and make the issues that aren’t core, core. Which makes it much easier to throw out the label of heretic against anyone who doesn’t hold their same convictions or even preferences.

So really it is simply a question of what belongs in the Core. My assumption is that an eternal hell, in which the person is conscious, has moved from the realm of Conviction to being Core for many people. Even though there have been countless years of debate and good theological defense on both sides of this particular issue.

So to be honest, when someone labels someone else a heretic I don’t really react anymore at all. The phrase is sort of vanilla now since all it really means anymore is, “They don’t share my convictions.” Which, in turn, means that anyone outside of your very select doctrinal assumptions could be labeled a heretic.

Quite a convenient way to navigate your theological path.

2. Why do we love hell so much?
The other issue the whole Rob Bell flap has raised for me is why some Christians seem to love the idea of hell. In fact, I know some people who actually seem to want hell, not just out of biblical convictions, but there seems to be some personal satisfaction taken in knowing that “those bad people” will spend eternity suffering for the few years of sin on this earth.

I remember hearing NT Wright say once that every Christian ought to want to be a universalist whether you felt like you could affirm it theologically or not. I completely agree. I may not be able to disavow the reality of judgment and hell painted in the Scriptures but shouldn’t my hearts desire, as one who has received grace, ought to always lead me to desiring grace for everyone else?

If God “is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3.9) then shouldn’t that be our desire as well? I actually get the idea every now and then that some Christians actually get a bit angry at the thought of someone whom they have judged to have lived a particularly heinous life, actually repenting and receiving grace and forgiveness.

But our hope is in a God that is gracious and forgiving beyond measure (Psalm 103) and the God of the Scriptures is described as a God who has mercy and that “mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2.13).

And yes, I know all the other passages that describe God as a just God. And I know that Jesus talks about hell. I am not saying I ignore those passages, only that I take no delight in them and simple explanations of them don’t do justice to the complexities surrounding the issues.

So I’ll just say I hate hell. I hate the idea of it. I hate the thought of it. And I find it paradoxical for someone to call themselves a Christian and be comfortable, even happy, with the idea of hell.

As one who loves the church and believes so deeply in Christ work through her, I fear that some of us want hell for others as much as we want heaven for ourselves.

Further Thoughts On Shame And Hiding

2011-03-07T13:50:00.006-05:00

This weekend was a great weekend at LCBC. We explored some of the most primal instincts we have as humans that center on shame and hiding. When we let shame drive us into hiding and don't allow ourselves to be known, we will never really know connection with others.

Here are a few more thoughts about the weekend:

Facebook
If you are interested in the map of world based on Facebook connections you can find it here.

A Couple Of People Who Have Helped Me Along The Way
Brene Brown – Brene is a researcher who has given her life to exploring human connection and vulnerability. She has written some books on these issues and has some great talks she gave at TED experiences. You can check them out here.

Lewis Smedes – Read his book “Shame and Grace”. Worth it.

Should I Be Vulnerable With Anyone?
No. It is a sacred act to make yourself vulnerable and the reality is that not everyone can be trusted with your vulnerability. There is nothing worse than making yourself vulnerable, expressing those things hidden, only to have shame, judgment, and disappointment thrown back your way. In fact, this will more than often just confirm the reasons you had in the first place for hiding those parts of yourself. So be wise.

Here are the tips Brene Brown gives for who NOT to be vulnerable with:

1. You may not want to be vulnerable with someone who will feel shame for you. If they gasp at the things you share and confirm how horrified you should be at yourself, you will end up consoling them and making them feel better. Some people just aren't emotionally ready to hear it.

2. You may not want to be vulnerable with someone who will only give you sympathy. What you need when you are vulnerable is empathy. You don't need someone to say, "Oh you poor thing", which only creates more shame. You need someone to say, "I get it. I know what that's like...".

3. You may not want to be vulnerable with someone who looks to you for their own worth and security. They may not know what to do when their source of worthiness makes themselves known.

4. You may not want to be vulnerable with someone who will scold you for what you share. The last thing you need to hear when being vulnerable is "How could you have done that?"

5. You may not want to be vulnerable with someone who always needs to make you feel better. Because of their own discomfort, they may say things like, "Oh that isn't that bad. You are fine. Everyone loves you." You need empathy and honesty in your vulnerability.

Sharing your story and choosing vulnerability is a healing and sacred act. But be wise about who you enter into this with.

Last Thought
I'll leave you with a quote from Lewis Smedes from "Shame and Grace":

“Grace based people dare to own any current, any drive, any sadness, any joy, any urge that might show up in their spiritual basements. They know that nothing in their conscience or unconscious selves can make them unacceptable to God. Grace makes self-knowledge bearable.”

Few More Thoughts On Glory And Meaning

2011-02-28T13:37:00.003-05:00

This weekend at LCBC, we explored Psalm 8 and what it means to be "crowned with glory" as humans. We explored the capacity and desires that we have to do good work in this world, to have meaning, and live a life that matters. There have been some great questions that have popped up from various people wrestling with their own desires for living a life of meaning and significance. So here are a few I have heard and my responses.

Should I quit my job?
I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. But if you quit your job because you are bored, or because you don’t think God can use you there, that may be the wrong reason.

There is a big difference between vocation and occupation.

Our vocation is to “seek the kingdom” in all things. This doesn’t change no matter what occupation you may find yourself in. Our occupations take various forms. So the real question we should be wrestling with isn’t, “Should I quit my job to pursue building God’s kingdom?” But rather, “How do I build God’s kingdom in the job I am currently in?” How can my relationship with co-workers communicate worth and dignity to them? How can I treat each customer as uniquely loved by the God who made them? How can my skills in organization help move our team at work forward? How can I communicate worthiness to the people who are managing me?
How can I serve my children today as I prepare them meals, fold their laundry, and shuttle them around?

Every moment has sacred potential to be a moment where we build the world God intends, the kingdom, no matter what job we do or don’t have.

Should I work at a church?
Probably not. Sometimes we get this idea that there is Godly work, like volunteering with a local non-profit, serving in orphanages, or working at churches. Then there is the other kind of work, like accounting, designing, teaching, or working drive through. However, in the scriptures the lines between sacred and secular aren’t that distinct. Actually the idea in the scriptures is that all work has the potential to be sacred.

If you are a Christian you are already in full time ministry.

Wherever you find yourself, you are to pour yourself out for the good of those around you. The kingdom is bigger than any one church. It is building the world God intends things it to be. Working with spreadsheets can be every bit as important and “Godly work” as preparing a sermon. If you are seeking the kingdom by hanging drywall, designing websites, and working in sales it is as glorious as working in any church.

It’s all sacred work when you get down to it.

Is there a difference between my passions and my glory?
Maybe. The glory you have been given by God (Psalm 8) translates into living a weighty life, significance, and desire for meaning. It communicates worth, value, and potential given to us by God. This glory demonstrates itself in the unique ways we have been designed to build God’s kingdom, the world he intends.

Our passions, those things that get us up in the morning, don’t always translate into our unique path of living out our glory. Think American Idol. How many people have a passion for singing but it simply isn’t their path. It doesn’t take a successful producer to realize this. Just because you are excited about it doesn’t always mean it is your unique path or that you are even good at it. I am excited about basketball, always have been, but I am not ever going to play in the NBA.

So just because you are passionate about something doesn’t mean it is in your glorious design to do it the rest of your life. And you have got to be okay with that. Because you are still worthy of love and have a glorious path in front of you.

So ask people around you, who are honest and will affirm your worthiness, to shoot you straight and tell you what they see you doing well. Ask them where they see your passions and desires line up with your design.

Quotes

2011-02-25T14:29:00.003-05:00

Here are some thoughts I have stumbled upon recently that have struck me...

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
– Picasso

"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."
– GK Chesterton

"He who seeks originality is apt to find novelty, but not permanence of delight. On the other hand, he who seeks to make designs that really work is most apt to come up with new designs of enduring value, almost as a by-product.”
– Frederick Brooks in “The Design of Design”

"Slide your hand,
jump off the end.
The water's clear and innocent."
- Radiohead "Codex"

Raw Materials

2011-02-22T20:17:00.002-05:00

Here are a few expanded thoughts from the teaching this weekend.

What’s Up With Psalm 139-19-24?
This weekend we explored only a small part of Psalm 139. The Psalm takes an abrupt turn in verse 19. The first 18 verses are all about who God is and how God has created us. Then all of the sudden we have the writer asking God to kill his enemies. Bizarre. Something definitely has this guy worked up. Apparently there are voices falsely accusing the writer of something harsh.

If you have ever had voices around you accusing you, giving you a name that isn’t your own, pulling you away from your truest self, maybe you know the feeling. And it’s like the writer spends the first 18 verses reminding himself of what is most true about himself.

The Temptation To Doubt You
I wish we could have explored the connection between Matthew 3.17 and Matthew 4.3.

Notice the very first words out of the tempters mouth.

What is the real temptation for Jesus?

Is it about bread or about doubting who he really is?

Does all temptation start with an attack on our identity?

Are You Esau? Yes I Am.
“Trying to mirror someone else’s accomplishment is one thing. Trying to be someone else in distinctive capacity is unhealthy and breeds insatiable hungers.” – Ravi Zacharias “Dream Weaver”

Exodus 4
Moses says to God, “I’m not a good enough speaker.” We all have a “Not _________ Enough” list.

What would be on yours?

We Are Not Made For Pretending And Perfecting
If you were to describe the few people in your life that you would be closest to, I would almost guarantee that one thing that would pop up in describing them would be the idea that you could “be yourself” around them. No pretending with them. No perfecting yourself for them.

Who are the few people in your life you can completely be yourself with?

When is the last time you thanked them for that gift?

Owning Your Raw Materials
This phrase is used by Lewis Smedes in his great book, “Shame and Grace: Healing The Shame We Don’t Deserve”. A counselor of mine once recommended this book and I am so grateful he did.

Raw Materials = Who You Are and Where You’ve Been

Take a minute to write down the things that make you distinctly you. Your physical self, your mental capacity, your personality traits, etc…

Then take a minute and write down where you come from. Your family background, events that played a significant role in your life, pain from the past, joy from the past, etc…

Look at this list as your raw material list.

Are there parts you are ashamed of? Why?
Are there any parts you have tried to deny? Why?
Are there any parts you just need to say, “God I trust you with this.”?

Exodus 20.17
I really, really wanted to talk about this but just didn’t have enough time.

Notice that all of the commands are externally observable (don’t kill people, don’t lie, don’t steal, etc…). The last commandment, “You shall not covet…” however is not observable. It is something that is inside of us.

Why is this?

Some say that perhaps the reason is that the 10 Command is a blessing.

That if you fall in line with God’s tuning, if you align with God, you will not desire anyone else's life. You will be content. Perhaps it isn’t a command, perhaps it is a blessing.

When you accept your proper place in this world, embracing who you are and who God is, “You shall not covet…” because you simply will not want another life.

Do you want anyone else's life?

Why?

What steps could you take in embracing who you have uniquely been designed to be?

The Ethic Of Segregation

2011-01-28T09:21:00.003-05:00

My friend is a Professor of Finance and Economics at Anderson University. He has been doing great work on mixed race/income communities and the theological or ethical impetus behind such a movement for people of faith. He sent me this link today about a High School right here in my community. This High School is implementing a program where they segregate students based on race for certain periods of the day to focus on issues related specifically to that demographic and provide mentoring.

I am not interested at this point as to whether this is the right thing to do or not. But rather the more intriguing question to me is how we, as a society, arrive at the answers to whether or not this is the right thing to do.

The motivation seems to be honorable - To help the advancement and flourishing of young people.

The results seem positive.

But the question remains as to whether or not, results and intentions aside, this is the morally just and right thing to do. And more importantly, how we arrive at such conclusions.

Is it okay that an individual's progress might be promoted over and against a society's?

Or maybe a much more personal way of looking at it would be this. Let's imagine you can send your child to any school. As you are exploring this particular school, they inform you that research shows that periods of segregated activity, based on race, throughout the day, promotes higher levels of advancement academically and socially for students. So if your child attends there they will be segregated from students not like them for at least part of the day.

Would you send your child to this school? And the more appropriate question is, how would you arrive at that decision? What moral guidepost would get you there?

Here is the link to the story FYI: Story

You Are God's Delight

2011-01-20T13:32:00.001-05:00

“His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure.” – Eph. 1.5

If you have ever wondered what drives and motivates God to pour out grace on this world and in your life, the answer is found in these beautiful words above.

It brings him pleasure. He delights in you.

Think about this: God’s fundamental posture towards you is delight and pleasure.

In the interior of my mind growing up I would often times imagine a God who was forgiving, and gracious, and brought me near through Christ. But this God of my thoughts would only do these things begrudgingly.

I imagined God saying to me, with eyes rolling and a deep sigh, “Okay fine, I’ll forgive you again, I’m God so I have to, but I don’t have to like it.”

While that might be the picture I have projected onto God, it isn’t the picture we have painted of God in the scriptures. Rather, this is the God who takes pleasure and delight in us. God can’t wait to give us more good things. This is the God who, like it says in Zephaniah 3.17, “rejoices over us with singing”.

You bring a song to God’s lips.

The truth is, you are not a burden to God. God knew exactly what God was getting into when you were called near through Jesus. God knew your failures already and the broken promises you’d make. God knew the moments your passion would outrun your discipline. God knew the idols you would fight to hold onto. God already knew about the many mornings you promised you would get up early to spend time with God only to sleep way in (that snooze button is a curse isn’t it). God knew the three times you would deny God in your own ways… and still, God couldn’t wait to bring you near.

Because God’s pleasure in you isn’t rooted in anything you can give. It is rooted in everything God can give.

You are God’s delight.
You are God’s delight.
You are God’s delight.

And that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

"Father, when I consider the expanse of space, the heights of mountains, the way in which just one of your thoughts can blanket an entire region in snow, who am I, a mere human, that you would even give me a thought. Yet, you take delight in me. I am your masterpiece, intimately made, and intimately known. Give me the grace today to trust and rest in the reality that I cannot earn your delight, I can only receive it. Amen."

As you go about your day today take notice of what brings you delight. When you notice delight over a conversation, a song you hear, a piece of art you notice, a project you finish, a meal you have, etc… simply use it as a moment to tell God “Thank you” for the delight God takes in you.

Not ____________ Enough

2011-01-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

We live in a world that sends clear messages our way that we aren’t enough.

Not ____________ enough.

We all have our blank that we could fill in. A message that we have been told or told ourselves that we define our lives by.

Not smart enough.
Not fast enough.
Not thin enough.
Not spiritual enough.
Not patient enough.
Not responsible enough.
Not ___________ enough.

What word would you put into the blank?

We love the stories of individuals who had their own blanks but work hard to move past it. We especially love it when their story includes proving everyone wrong who didn’t believe in them. Think, Rudy (sorry, I know Rudy is cheesy but it was the most obvious example I could think of ☺)

We often times transfer this story line into our spiritual lives. We work as hard as anyone could to make ourselves more than enough for God. This is the gospel according to Rudy. This false gospel says that while you have been saved, you still aren’t quite enough. You aren’t patient enough. You don’t pray enough. You aren’t giving enough. You don’t read the bible enough.

You still aren’t enough. So strap on your boots and get to work.

But for any of us who have ever tried our hand at this tired old game of trying to make ourselves better for God we learn quickly that it is a futile effort. See, here is the trick. The answer isn’t just to think more highly of ourselves. It isn’t more positive thinking. It isn’t to ignore those parts of ourselves that really are broken and dark at times.

The challenge is to really and sincerely trust the good news of Jesus.

The good news is that you aren’t enough… and that is okay. Because your worth and value and closeness to God isn’t determined by what you bring to the table, it’s determined by what God brings to the table.

God’s heart is to bring us close. To adopt us. To unite us with Christ. To give us belonging.

And this belonging that is extended to you is rooted solely in God’s love for you and nothing else. Belonging and embrace are simply gifts that you can only receive and trust.

If someone were to ask you to sum up the entire message of Jesus in just a few words, what would you say?

Perhaps, “You belong to God”, might be a good place to start.

Everyone Has A Story

2011-01-15T13:34:00.001-05:00

Just find a way to tell it...

Job 6.26

2011-01-13T09:19:00.001-05:00

Dear Christian,

Do you think your words are convincing when you disregard my cry of desperation?

Sincerely,

Job

The Church Of Proving You Wrong

2010-12-10T09:03:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I heard a great story about something that happened down at Circl3 at our Lancaster City Campus. Circl3 is our High School environment at LCBC. When we first launched our Student Ministry environments at Lancaster City we hoped it would be a unique opportunity for students to come together from different socio-economic backgrounds, different races, and varying family units. We thought this may happen simply because of where our campus is located. It is accessible within minutes for students who attend a school district that has the highest median income in the county and within walking distance of neighborhoods that have the lowest median incomes in the county.

And shouldn't the church be located right between the two?

So a couple of months ago one particular Latino girl who lives very close to the campus took a risk and, knowing nobody, just walked to Circl3 one Wednesday night. And she has stuck there ever since.

This last Wednesday night, Matt, our stellar Student Ministries Director at Lancaster City, decided that he wanted to spend a few minutes with a Life Group of girls who were upperclassmen. He wanted to encourage them in the way they were helping make Circl3 a loving place.

As he was talking, the girl who had begun walking to Circl3 just a couple of months ago interrupted him and pointed to two other girls sitting opposite of her in the group. These two girls couldn't have been more different from her. They were white, went to a different school, came from the suburbs, and had a completely different home life.

This Latino girl went on to say, "You. You and you. When I first walked in here, I looked at both of you and thought, they won't ever accept me. But you proved me wrong. You have accepted me when I am not accepted anywhere else."

And these two white girls, who have nothing materially in common with this Latino girl, have been the glue that got her to stick. And I can't think of a better picture of what the church should be. A group of people struck by the life of Jesus to be a force that brings others in. A people that offers life by being accepting, loving, and showing value to everyone. A people who, given the opportunity, will prove you wrong if you assume that all Christians are just hypocritical, non-thinking, judgmental, intolerant, graceless, ignorant humans at best.

Yes, I know that there are some churches that simply affirm these assumptions. I believe this grieves God.

But I also know there are two girls in our church at least that are set out to prove others wrong in those assumptions. I hope to join them.

Easy Faith?

2010-12-06T09:53:00.004-05:00

My friend Brian just passed me the film "It Might Get Loud". It's a film all about guitars that brings Jack White, Jimmy Page, and the Edge to the same room to talk and play together. I think it is brilliant.

I found myself intrigued by Jack White throughout the film. In his opening shots, he talks about the pitfalls of technology when it comes to creating music. He talks about the way in which musicians can spend hours looking for the perfect pitch of a snare drum and yet loose a bit of the musical soul in the process. One of his lines that most stood out to me was, "That’s the disease you have to fight in any creative field… ease of use."

A few weeks ago Scot McKnight spoke at LCBC and talked about the Shema in the Old Testament (Deut. 6) and particularly how Jesus quoted the Shema when asked what the most important thing to be about was.

After that weekend, we had a lot of request from people asking where the passage was that Scot referred to in his message. The one where Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind..."

So in order to help the people asking we would of course let them know where the passage was. But I couldn't help wondering whether or not that was best.

On one hand, there is something empowering about "ease of use", where you can simply ask where something is and then be told.

But on the other, there is something equally as good in having to go and find something yourself, flipping pages, perhaps reading through a lot of information in order to find the one sentence you were looking for.

I know that most of the times that I have grown, the times where I feel like I have been stretched and shaped at deep levels, haven't been because someone told me how to feel, where to look, or what to think. They are the seasons where I have to look for myself, find it, and wrestle with it without someone else doing it for me.

Faith, and spiritual formation, isn't easy. As a teacher I live in this tension. I have given my life over to trying to explain in practical and relevant ways a kind of faith that is complex and anything but easy to use.

The church could present a faith that cuts out all of the complexities and wrestling and dish out one that is easy to use but it might end up being a kind of faith that lacks any soul.

Dreams

2010-12-02T08:33:00.004-05:00

This week I went out to breakfast with some people and one of them asked this question:

What do you want to be able to say about yourself 3 years from now that you can't say about yourself today?

What an inspiring question. Several around the table shared about family dreams. Some talked of vocational dreams. One talked about a car they really wanted.

I was out in Chicago recently and had interaction with a guy named Ben Arment. Ben founded the Story Conference and each year Ben helps 24 people launch their personal dreams within 12 months through DREAMYEAR.

Ben guides aspiring writers, musicians, filmmakers, entrepreneurs and humanitarians in creating a personalized plan to execute their dreams. Then he assists in the follow-through via monthly consultations, weekly e-lessons, monthly TokBox conversations and providing free resources. You can check out more about it here.

I love that someone's dream is to help others live out theirs.

So what do you dream about?

I'll throw the question at you that I was asked:

What do you want to be able to say about yourself 3 years from now that you can't say about yourself today?

BTW - If you're needing theme music to dream to then check out the Jonsi and Alex concert from NYC - you can stream the whole thing here.

Anticipation Or Anxiety

2010-11-29T10:45:00.002-05:00

The season of Advent is upon us now. It is the season we await the coming of Christ. It is a season that is intended to create anticipation. To be reminded of the darkness so that we eagerly await the light.

The greatest moments always come on the tail end of anticipation. Jenny has a favorite photo from our wedding day. It is a photo of me standing at the altar waiting for her to enter the room. They took the picture as the doors were being opened and you can almost see on my face that I caught my breath. The anticipation of seeing my bride had caught me. And in that moment it was fulfilled.

So in Advent, the weeks leading up to Christmas, we hold our breath. We await God to open the doors of heaven and reveal to us the One who will bring healing to the nations and light to the darkness.

But nothing crowds out anticipation like anxiety. Anxiety over what to buy and for whom. Anxiety over time running out and patience running thin. Anxiety over debts mounted up to collect more things that will inevitably be broken or thrown in the basement just a few months from now.

To experience anticipation you have to willingly say no to the things that bring anxiety.

Jenny and I have tried to do this in a few ways:

- We will not let our calendars get too booked up. This is a discipline in a season of parties and get togethers. It doesn't mean we don't go out or spend time with friends. But we want the time to be at home to sit, read, reflect, talk, and enjoy meals together.

- We will not rack up debt. When this season becomes one of burden instead of liberation we have missed the point entirely.

- We will not spend more time than we normally do shopping. Of course we will go out some through Advent. But we have tried to make choices of being home more than being at the mall.

- Our gifts will be relational. Part of anticipating Jesus is the recognition that God's gift to the world was relationship. So each night throughout Advent we choose a relational activity to do as a family.

This Advent, make the choices you need to make in order to enter into anticipation. Don't let anxiety crowd it out.

Unconditional Love

2010-11-24T15:48:00.003-05:00

First off - Happy Thanksgiving! May your day be filled with laughter and tryptophan.

While running a few weeks ago, I was listening to the latest This American Life podcast. The episode is called "Unconditional Love". The first story is about adoption and the second story is about two parents raising a special needs child.

I found myself moved to the core and in awe of love after listening to these.

If you can get any spare time in the coming weeks to listen I would encourage you to. You will not regret it.

You can find it here.

Grace and peace be with you.

For Those On The Margins

2010-11-20T11:07:00.003-05:00

I am a part of a church that believes some core things to be true about God.

We believe that God is for the poor and oppressed.

We believe that the Earth is the Lord's and everything in it, so our stuff isn't really ours.

We believe that there aren't many things in the history of our faith and in the scriptures that seem to set God off more than when God's people aren't caring for the poor and fighting for justice.

So we have tried to put our money where our mouth is on these beleifs. We have developed strategic partnerships in the Tseikuru region of Kenya, Sattur, India, and now Haiti, that are committed to creating sustainable movement for those who are most marginalized. Our vision and hope is to be involved in strategic and long term ways on every continent.

Because of this our student ministry has become actively involved in these causes as well. We have tried very hard to give our students a balanced view of justice, letting them know the global causes of our day, and the very real situations they face every day such as standing up for those bullied, etc...

Two years ago we were asking what our next step might be in Kenya. We discovered that we could take some significant steps in the region through providing clean water. So we asked our students to step up and raise money to help pay for water retention basins, pipelines, wells, and sanitary latrines in schools.

We set an astronomical goal for what it would cost to get all of these projects done and our students raised more than double the goal.

Then last year we started dreaming again. This time about Sattur, India. We wanted to begin to take some steps in the area of education for the Dalit people of that region. So we set out to build a school. Once again, we knew the monetary goal, challenged our students with this, and they more than surpassed it.

But raising the money wasn't the only thing we prayed about through these two projects.

I remember specifically praying, often, that God would use these projects to open the eyes of our students to injustice in the world and God's heart for the church to be his hands and feet in addressing it.

I remember praying that some of our students would one day travel to far away lands in the name of Jesus, going into the slums because they followed Jesus there. We prayed that those students would look back on the projects for Kenya and Sattur and would say that those moments were the moments when they decided to follow Jesus into the slums if that is where God led.

What I wasn't expecting was for those prayers to be answered so quickly.

I can tell you stories of students who have sold their possessions to give to the poor.

I can tell you stories of students who have walked through their hallways at school looking for the underdog and once they found them stopping to pray with them.

I can tell you stories of students who have foregone college to work in an orphanage on the other side of the world.

I can tell you the story of one of our student's who has started an organization to build deep water wells in Haiti.

In fact... I will tell you her story. Her name is Kelly. She is 13. And she is committed to bringing water to people in Haiti who need clean water. She raises the capitol needed by selling pencils. Only a 13 year old could come up with something so simple and powerful as selling pencils to bring water to a region.

But she can tell her story much better than I can. So read more about it here and here.

I thank God that I get to be a part of a church that is committed to dreaming big dreams for those who have been kept on the margins. I thank God that God is hearing our prayers and is doing something in the next generation that only God could do.

All for his fame.

Post And Picture Caption Please

2010-11-10T20:01:00.003-05:00

Here is something I wrote up for our Saturate community that you can read on their site here. It's about image management, Facebook profile pics, Philippians, imitation, and digital distance.

Secondly, I had the honor this last weekend to spend some time with Scot McKnight. Scot has written something like 7,000 books. He has the rare gift of being brilliant, witty, and down to earth all at the same time. He spoke to our Student Ministry volunteer team about engaging students in the scriptures. It was a great time. But I thought this picture taken from our time together was... interesting.

I think it needs a caption. So if you have one let me know.

Organizational Hypocrisy

2010-11-04T15:10:00.004-04:00

I have had a few conversations as of late about the way churches can be guilty of organizational hypocrisy. This happens when a church claims it believes one thing to be true about God yet doesn't structure itself to live out that belief.

It is organizational hypocrisy if...

- we say God welcomes everyone but don't welcome everyone into our church.

- we say that you can come to God just as you are but demand people act and dress a certain way in our churches.

- we say God is rich in kindness but don't have anyone to greet visitors at the door.

- we say that people matter but don't have a system in place to follow up with people.

Our message looses all credibility when our systems and structures don't support the message we proclaim.

So if you are a church leader put the structures in place to care for others. Or don't bother talking about a God who does.

I'm Perplexed

2010-11-01T09:30:00.003-04:00

I was reading Acts 10 this morning. There is an interesting dialogue that takes place between Peter and the Spirit of God regarding the dietary law for Jews. Peter gets direct instruction that the dietary laws regarding what they could and couldn't eat had been done away with in light of new creation busting on the scene.

Peter has a hard time accepting this and rightly so. This is a guy who has been taught his entire life that purity and holiness before God means being separate in every way, including diet. And he has his scriptures to back this up conviction up.

But now you have the Spirit doing a new thing and it goes against what Peter had come to know as the Word of God revealed in the scriptures.

I love verse 17 - "Peter was very perplexed."

It is the same word used when the women find an empty tomb (Luke 24), when outsiders hear Christians proclaiming God's glory in many different languages (Acts 2), and when the leading priest found an empty jail cell that they thought was holding the apostles (Acts 5).

"Peter was very perplexed." I bet he was. Along with others who knew they were seeing God do something but couldn't figure out what it was.

It seems like being perplexed is an appropriate response when God is at work. Being perplexed can lead to two responses. One response is to ignore what it is that is perplexing us because it is just too disruptive to our thinking. We don't want to expend the mental or emotional energy to reflect on what it is that is perplexing us. So we read a passage in the scriptures that makes no sense and we just skip over it so we can bypass the difficult work of reflection. We witness something that doesn't fit with our fundamental understanding of how the world should work, and we just gloss over it, because it would be too disruptive for our world view to be challenged. I don't think this is any way to grow and flourish as a human.

The second response is to engage that which perplexes us. To see it as an invitation to explore more deeply. To reflect on it. To ask more questions about it. After Peter is described as being perplexed, the passage says that he asked, "What could this vision mean?"

It leads him to more questions. To an openness to having all that he thought he knew about God and the world to be challenged.

So if you find yourself perplexed by faith, you are in good company. Even more so, perhaps that means God is at work around you. If God truly does work in this world today then being perplexed by that work might be the most natural response. If God truly speaks today and you find yourself perplexed as to what God might be saying, well... so were the apostles.

But let the ways in which you are perplexed drive you to more questions and an openness to being shaped and challenged.

Even if it feels disruptive.

Imitation

2010-10-28T21:29:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago I got this sudden fit to start reading big chunks of the New Testament at a time. I know some people think that, as a pastor, reading the bible is something that I spend half my day doing. Sorry to disappoint but that isn't true. So when I have a surge of energy to read the bible in large quantities, I jump on it because it isn't always the case.

I have found that sometimes there is something so rich in just reading one verse or passage over and over again and just letting it soak in. Then there are other times where reading large portions of the scriptures allow you to see themes and general patterns that you might not see when doing small readings.

One of the ideas I have seen repeated by Paul a few times is the idea of imitation. He talks to the Corinthians, the Thessalonians, and the Philippians all about the need for them to be imitators.

But his invitation isn't always to imitate Jesus. At least not directly. Rather, Paul invites those reading his letters to imitate him. This has struck me as a bold invitation. Of course there are times when Paul ties it directly to Christ, such as, "imitate me as I imitate Christ..." but for the most part, he puts himself up as the example for them to learn what it means to live authentically Christian.

And when you think about it, how could this movement go on any other way. The reality is that anyone who claims to be a Christian is simply imitating someone, who imitated someone, who imitated someone, who imitated someone... you get the point. The beauty of the Christian story though is that our imitation of others isn't detached from the person and work of Christ, but that we believe Christ indwells those we imitate in the most profound sense.

There is a sacred union between the believer and the Spirit of Christ. A union that gives us the freedom and boldness to say to others as Paul did, "pattern your life after mine."

At least that is the hope... that we could say to someone, "imitate me".

Could you?

Could you with integrity say to a young follower of Jesus, pattern your life after mine? Could you invite someone to imitate you?

Could you invite someone to...

Pattern their marriage after yours.
Pattern the way they spend their money after the way you do.
Pattern their concern for the environment and God's good world after yours.
Pattern the way they order their time after the way in which you do.
Pattern their care for the poor among them after the way you care for them.

Who have you invited to imitate you?

A Response To Bullying

2010-10-22T11:52:00.003-04:00

This week there was attention drawn to the reality that many young people are bullied and particularly young people who are gay. Young people who are wrestling with their sexuality have faces for me. They are not an abstract grouping of our society for me. I have the privilege of working with young people, some who are gay, and I have seen first hand the way in which bullying and isolation can wound someone with long lasting consequences.

I have a friend named Jim whose wife is a pastor in New York City. This week, she wrote a beautiful piece about some of these issues and a Christian response to them. You can read it here.

May God give us the strength to stand up for all who are marginalized for any reason.

And may it be done in the name of Jesus.

Make It Right Before They Fall Asleep

2010-10-20T09:57:00.004-04:00

I have been reading a lot about the brain recently as well as listening to research by neuro-scientist. I have grown fascinated it. One of the things I have been most intrigued by is sleep and it's effect on learning. Although there is some debate around the issue, one of the leading thoughts now as to why we need sleep is that this is when the brain distributes all of the days events into fixed storage. Up until the time we sleep, the events of the day are in a holding pattern waiting until they can be permanently placed in storage as a memory.

In other words, there is a limited window of time where memories are fluid and subject to being modified.

I thought about the power this has on whether or not we choose to make right any wrongs we may have committed against someone in a given day.

I know there are many days where I have spoken more harshly to my kids than necessary.
I have ignored someone who needed my attention.
I have reacted in anger to my wife and hurt her in the process.

But those things don't have to be the memories that last from the day. We always that window of time, before they go to sleep, to modify their memory of what happened simply by making it right before they head off to bed. This obviously doesn't mean they suddenly forget the hurt we inflict. But it may mean that the most prominent memory they have will not be of the pain but of the reconciling act.

A simple, "I'm sorry", could change their memory about us completely.

Don't let the shame of a negative action against someone today keep you from seeking to make it right before they head to bed.

You might just change everything in their thinking about you if you do.

Know When To Be Loud And When The Be Quiet

2010-10-15T16:21:00.003-04:00

My friend Ryan is a musician and has taught me a bit about dynamics in music. Dynamics in a song refers to the volume of notes played at intentional moments to create movement in a song. We all know songs that start soft creating a feel but then build to loud crescendos that take the song to a whole new level. That's dynamics.

And a song that doesn't give thought to dynamics would stand out. A Metallica song played softly would completely change the song.

The point is that sometimes you have got to be loud to make a point in a song. And sometimes the softness makes the point. And most of the time, a great piece of music contains both quiet notes and loud ones, each one informing the other.

The skilled musician has mastered the art of dynamics. They know when to play softly and when to play loudly. They know how range in volume can create a beautiful piece of art.

I had a friend tell me this week that he felt like his marriage was on the ropes. There was so much to consider as he was pouring out his heart to me. Questions like, "What does my friend need from me right now?" flooded my mind.

Which is essentially a question of dynamics.

Is this a moment with my friend to be loud. To confront. To challenge.
Or is this a moment to be quiet. To give space for reflection.

Part of relationships is learning the dynamics needed at the moment between you and another. Most of us have been on the other side of this. How many of us have shared something with a friend that rendered us exposed and vulnerable. We took a risk in sharing and what we needed were soft notes played back to us. We needed some space to just vent. But what we got was a challenging note. The crescendo came at the wrong moment.

You might have the right words for someone, but given at the wrong volume, those words could wound them significantly. Words that could have been life giving loose their power because we didn't consider dynamics.

So in your relationships consider at what volume people need you. If you don't, you could be singing all the right words but they won't listen to the lyrics.

Who Can Call You Sally Struthers?

2010-10-12T07:35:00.003-04:00

I remember about a year ago having to get in front of lots of people and make a heart felt pitch for a cause I believed in. It was at our 4:30 gathering at LCBC, so it was the first of four times I would be talking about this issue. Each week after the 4:30 gathering, we get a group of people together who were a part of the gathering to evaluate and talk about any changes we may want to make going forward in the weekend.

I remember a teammate of mine at that post-gathering meeting and the first words out of his mouth when he saw me. He said, "What's up Sally Struthers?" I got what he was saying. He went on to tell me how the things I said didn't sound like me at all. He told me that I came off more as a used car salesman than a genuinely concerned Christian talking about the issue I was addressing at the time.

Just this last week a friend of mine let me know that I had made a decision that he didn't understand and had disappointed him. One of his core reasons for letting me know was that he didn't want my own leadership discredited and wanted to address it with me.

In the end, I told him that I would make the same decision today. But regardless I needed to hear what he said. And I am thankful that he felt free enough to let me know his thoughts and feelings. I can only benefit from that.

If you lead in any capacity (which I would suggest we all do... parents, work, ministry, etc...) we have GOT to have a group of people around us who are trusted and know us and will give us honest feedback.

Even if it stings a bit.

After the initial sting of the Sally Struthers comment I remember feeling grateful. Grateful because my teammate saw something I wasn't seeing and instead of letting it go he said something, not to put me down, but to build me up and help.

So two questions:

Who do you have around you that you go to for feedback in your parenting, work, or ministry?

Do you come off as one open to feedback, ready to listen with a spirit of humility?

If you never have people push you, perhaps it is because you aren't approachable. But trust me, it ISN'T because there is nothing to approach you about.

So seek out feedback. And grow from it.

Brandi Carlile And The Problem Of Planning

2010-10-08T09:08:00.003-04:00

Last night Jenny and I went and saw Brandi Carlile perform. It was a magical show. Brilliant in every way. I do not know if I have ever heard such a pure voice.

When she first came out she talked about how many shows she has played in PA. Because of that, she wanted to ensure that her set list was one that wouldn't just be a repeat of previous shows in the area. The problem was that she couldn't really think of songs to put into the set list. So she told us that on her set list in front of her were a few spots that simply had a "?" in the place where she would normally write a song. Those were our spots to pick the song for her. We were told to just yell something out.

So there were moments in the night when we got to those places that we did just that. And she pulled every one off brilliantly. She also just threw in an unplanned, but beautiful, cover of Willie Nelson/Patsy Cline's song "Crazy". The crowd was energized in a unique way as a result of the spontaneity and participation the moment fostered.

This sort of engagement wouldn't have been possible had she come out having the set already scripted from start to end, with every transition carefully thought out, complete with lighting cues and pre-mixes on the sound board. Instead, the lighting cues were so that they could have worked with any song she chose. There were no flashy production moments that bound them to a particular set that may or may not have worked once they got into the moment and read the crowd.

Because of this, there was a sort of creative energy that took place that can only come from reading the moment and then responding. And the crowd moved from being spectators to participants.

For any of us who are involved with planning for any organization this is the dilemma we face. Over-plan, and potentially kill the creative potential of the moment once we actually arrive at the moment. Under-plan, and we have no structure in place for creativity to evolve.

Perhaps we need to find that middle ground. Where planning gives us a roadmap but a map that allows us freedom to respond in the moment. Because in the end, it isn't about the smoothest transitions and flashiest production. It is about the participants experience.

And sometimes under-planning might be the key to unlocking a magical experience for all involved.

Inspiration Has A Shelf Life

2010-10-05T07:34:00.004-04:00

One of the last things Jason Fried and David Hansson talk about in their book, "Rework", is the idea that inspiration is perishable. Like milk or juice that you buy at Amelia's, it won't take long for an idea to spoil. Then you loose it.

So if you are inspired to act on something today then act on it and do it.
Only now matters, not later.

If you are inspired to write something, write it today. It may be spoiled tomorrow.

If you are inspired to read, then read today.

Inspired to get out and go on a run? Trust me, don't wait until the weather clears because you'll find your motivation has moved on with the rain clouds.

What are you inspired to do today?

Now go and do it! Because inspiration has a shelf life.

A Weak, Babbling, Handicapped Teenager And His Mother

2010-10-02T14:25:00.001-04:00

I was buckling my daughter into her car seat on a city street when I heard the voice of a teenage boy behind me speaking gibberish. I turned around and saw this young Asian boy walking down the sidewalk trailed by his mother. I watched him as he struggled to form the words coming out of his mouth and all he could muster was, “Car. Garage. Car. Garage.” He was pointing to the parking garage on that block and looking for his mother’s affirmation. He didn’t get it fast enough so he addressed her personally.

“Mommy. Car. Garage. Car. Garage. Mommy.”

I got into my car and caught a glimpse of my daughter in the rearview mirror. I watched his mother and wondered if she ever longed for the day that she could carry on a conversation with her son. I watched this teenage boy thinking that he reminded me of my own son who is 20 months old. Then I put all the energy I had into not weeping in the car with my daughter.

I really don’t know why I wanted to break down. But I do know that my first reaction when I witness moments like this is pity. I pity the boy and want him to be able to speak normally. I pity the mom and wish she could have a relationship with her son that wasn’t limited by handicap.

But I wonder if my pity comes form a place of pride. Because inherit to my pity is the belief that I, and others not like them, have it better somehow. That our lives are to be desired.

Last night I read that Paul told the Christians living in the ancient city of Corinth that he had many weaknesses.

2 Corinthians 12.10 – “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

There is a strength in weakness that moves us when we witness it. The mother of this child, the one he called “mommy”, was white. Which means she brought this kid in. She adopted him. She welcomed him home.

It means she placed limitations on herself, what she would be able to do with her time, where she would be able to go, because of her own son’s limitations.

Some might say she has made herself weak.

Which makes me wonder if the reason I almost broke down in the car was because the Kingdom broke in for a moment in front of me. A Kingdom where the path of weakness is the path of strength. A Kingdom where boys with handicaps are welcomed home. A Kingdom where the foolish are shown to be wise and the wise shown to be fools. Heaven met earth on that sidewalk.

On that street today I witnessed a kind of strength that I long for and pray that by the grace of God I receive.

This Week On Vacation

2010-09-26T17:52:00.000-04:00

I plan to...

- go on lots of walks with Jenny and the kids.
- feed the ducks.
- read Jason Fried's book, "Rework".
- read Wesley Hill's book, "Waiting and Wanting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality".
- play some serious games of cars and princesses.
- take Sienna to Beauty and the Beast at The Fulton.
- wrestle with Silas.
- cheer Jenny on when she runs the Hershey half marathon.

So I am signing off until next week.

Peace be with you.

New Things

2010-09-24T08:55:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in a while for a couple of reasons.

First, I have just found myself wrapped up in a ton of other projects and work that has simply pushed this to the background for now.

Secondly, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

But this week I have been in Chicago with some guys on the Saturate team. Saturate is our ministry environment for 20Somethings at LCBC. A few months ago we started to make some transitions internally as a church. The larger we grow the more opportunity for organizational silo's to develop. I think one of the most critical areas to be streamlined and working together is between Student Ministry and College/20Somethings. The reasons are obvious. So I was charged with overseeing and ensuring that we are intentional and strategic in our discipleship and movement from 5th grade through 20 Somethings. Essentially we have created a Next Generation umbrella that I am responsible to lead and help move forward.

From a day to day level it doesn't change much. I still have my hands in JCrew, our ministry environment for 7th and 8th graders, and we have some of the best leaders in this country leading in Middle School, High School, and 20 Somethings. So I just get to come alongside them at a more strategic level and help them succeed. At least that is my hope.

My time over the last couple of days with a few guys from the Saturate team has affirmed my commitment to seeing that the journey of discipleship from middle school into adulthood is intentional and fluid.

Honored to step into new territory with an incredible team.

Let's see where it goes!

My Conversation With An Atheist

2010-08-12T08:58:00.004-04:00

A few months ago I had a great conversation with a professed Atheist. He was spirited, passionate, and was dogmatic in his belief. In fact, at one point, after he spilled coffee on himself as a result of his charismatic attack on some point of Christianity, I told him, "I think you are more of a fundamentalist about your atheism than I am about my Christianity. At least I am leaving room for doubt."

I think that caught him off guard.

But one of the most frustrating parts of our conversation was the way I was pigeonholed into one particular strand of Christian thought simply because it was labeled "Christian". For example, he told me, "Well you Christians believe Jesus is coming back and taking you all away to have a merry good time while the rest of us stay here and go through hell on earth."

I tried explaining that there is a strand of Christian thought that affirms this but not every Christian does.

He couldn't seem to get past this. And I couldn't seem to help him. One issue after another, he lumped me and my personal convictions in with a very specific strain of Christian thought that even I would have issues with.

To him, Christian was the generic name for anyone belonging to the church as an organization and that anyone belonging to that organization shared the exact same interpretations of Scriptures and shared the same ethical convictions.

This isn't true by the way. Only a few years in to this movement called the church, its leaders weren't agreed on every point of theology.

My conversation with this guy, and the frustration I felt in trying to distance myself from what he was labeling "Christian", raised a question for me that has been raised before. That question is whether or not we can redeem the word "Christian" or has it become so bogged down in everything that isn't authentically Christian, that we ought to just abandon the association all together. A question I am sure we aren't the first to wrestle with.

Apparently Anne Rice has also thought about this:

Why Defending The Church Isn't Always Necessary

2010-07-26T22:27:00.008-04:00

For some reason our church has gotten a ton of attention lately from the media. We have had several stories written up in the York, Lancaster, and Harrisburg papers. We had a story run on WGAL tonight as well. All of this has led to a ton of comment threads, both positive and negative, about LCBC.

Here is why I would suggest not even reading the threads, let alone responding.

1. Most People Aren't Looking For Conversation
I learned this a long time ago. I used to think that when someone posted something online as an opinion they were looking for good healthy dialog. I couldn't have been more wrong. I learned quick that people don't really want to know how much money we give to the poor as a church. They don't want to know the ways in which we are serving the world. They don't really want to know about the families being healed and addictions being broken. They just want to vent their opinions about the church and make sure everyone else knows it.

People won't change their minds with a few well thought out defenses of why we do things the way we do them. So I avoid responding to people's opinions because it simply drags you into an endless discussion of entrenched beliefs on both sides of the issue.

Now on the other hand, I will spend all day talking with someone who is genuinely asking and seeking out a conversation about church related issues. But I have found that these people are few and far between and almost certainly never the ones posting comments on comment threads.

2. Comment Threads Are Extremely Limited In Fostering Interpersonal Communication
I have seen people hurt and wounded through the words left on comment threads because there is no relational context for the words being used. We are much more likely to speak aggressively or attack in ways we never would if we were face to face.

And many times leaving a comment on a thread simply provides ammunition for those opposed to your view to dissect your words, distort them, and use them out of context. If one were face to face having a discussion you could clarify more quickly and non-verbal communication would give immediate context for certain responses. All of this is absent via the comment thread and often leads to mis-understanding and frustration on all ends.

3. It Is Too Easy To Get Angry
Often times, when those things closest to us get attacked there is a desire to defend and attack back. However, any response rooted in anger is never the Christ like response. And it is simply too easy to respond to people attacking the church in anger.

Perhaps Peter in the garden is good to keep in mind. When Jesus is arrested Peter attacks the soldier by pulling out the sword and cutting off his ear. Yet Jesus reminds him once again that his way doesn't involve a sword. It involves a cross that he and his followers willingly die on.

The way of Jesus involves absorbing the attack and returning love and grace. Sometimes that means standing silent before your accusers.

4. There Are Far Greater Things To Be Doing With My Time
The last thing I want to be doing with my day is defending our church to a bunch of people who have already made up their minds about it anyways. I can honestly think of about 1,200 more productive ways to spend my time. There is too much good to be done in a day than to spend it reading every negative thing written about the church. Too many key decisions to be made. Too many people to serve. And too little time to spend with my family. So I choose to let the threads live on without my input because once you jump in, it's hard to jump out.

5. God Doesn't Need Me To Defend God
Plain and simple. I used to think I needed to defend God to the world. Now I know otherwise.

I simply need to pour myself out for the good of the world... and God will defend God's self.

Number 4 is probably the most important one to me. I really hope I can look back at the end of my day and look my family in the eyes knowing that I didn't let some blogger or anonymous response steal my time from them. And I want to be able to look back on a day and know that I worked my butt off for the people of our church and our community and didn't give away my time to the critics. I want to live a life focused enough on the mission and vocation God has called me to that it doesn't get hijacked by a few post on the Internet.

So just be careful what you give your time to.

There may be greater things to be engaged in.

Convo With Daughter

2010-07-16T10:32:00.003-04:00

Sienna was asking me tons of great questions about Jesus today. Here is how the questions went down.

How does Jesus get inside me?

I can feel him in me?

How does Jesus come out of me?

Is the Spirit the Jesus that doesn't have a beard? (She got really caught up on this point)

Does the Spirit live in me?

Can I wear a dress today?

Complaining And A Post You Need To Read

2010-07-09T08:30:00.003-04:00

The last few months I have been confronted with the theme of complaining in my life. I started reading a book called "Complaint Free Relationships" and then read a book called "The No Complaining Rule" with some friends. My eyes have been opened to how often I do complain and a few of us have even tried "complaining fast" for a day at a time (and trust me 24 hours of no complaining might be a shade tougher than 24 hrs without food).

The Christian narrative is one that is rooted in a people who complained even after being delivered from slavery. They are freed and a few days later are complaining that their stomachs are growling.

Complaining seems to be in our blood.

Complaining isn't just about being negative. Or always seeing the glass half empty. Complaining points to something much more primal that is happening inside of us. It points out and reveals our how serious we are about trust. It ultimately reveals whether or not we truly believe that God is good and cares for us as much as he does the birds of the fields. With suspicion of God comes complaining.

Sermon to come on this I'm sure...

But in the meantime, I LOVED Ken Mueller's thoughts on the difference between work and vocation and it brought out the themes of perspective and complaining that I thought everyone should read.

Go now and read it here.

A Student Ministry Post

2010-07-07T09:19:00.002-04:00

If you are involved in student ministry at any capacity then you know that one of the most hit or miss elements of a gathering is typically the games or activities you may plan. You have a wide array of students coming from a wide array of backgrounds. Some students will love running around while others despise it. Some students will like competition while others are intimidated by it. Some students would rather play Trivial Pursuit than watch the Super Bowl and others couldn't tell you their own state capitol.

While I don't think the wide array of students should keep us from doing activities, or Crowdbreakers and games, it does present us with some unique challenges. We have learned a few things as to what consistently gets the most interaction and involvement with our students.

We have found that any time we give the students an opportunity to create something, there is a high level of energy and participation. We have had students create such things as dressing up a Life Group member for a crazy fashion show, creating a cardboard boat, or, as we did this last weekend, create a machine that will launch a marshmallow.

1. Give Incentive - Students aren't any different than adults in that they want to know why they are doing something and that they aren't wasting their time. Giving students some level of incentive gives the impetus students need to engage the activity.

We will switch between competitive incentive and reward based incentive. The competitive incentive is given when we tell them that whatever their group creates will go up against all of the other groups creations. In the case of the Marshmallow Machine, the competitive incentive was simply, "Whose machine will launch the marshmallow the farthest?"

A general reward incentive is simply giving them some sort of a reward for simply finishing the task. This can be food for the group, or displaying what the group has made, but they know that there is something coming for the energy they are about to expend.

2. Create Something In Teams - Having students create in teams allows for a few things to happen. First of all, it implicitly teaches the value of working together and creating together. It connects students and helps them build memories together as they encourage each other with the project they are working on. Secondly, creating in teams gives more space for ideas. Where one or two people may run out of creative juices, having 10 around a project means there are more minds to help create.

This also gets rid of the personal vulnerability of creating something. If the teams Marshmallow Machine fails, it is a team failure, and much easier to laugh at, as opposed to an individual failure.

3. Show It Off - We have found this to be critical to the success of any games we may do where they create something. Students want the chance to show off what they have made. Plus, this is part of the incentive for actually making whatever they have made. Getting up in front of their peers and laughing at themselves creates a safe place to play.

This also allows the student who may never be in the spotlight because of sports, academics, or talents to be a get the spotlight in a place that celebrates all types of students.

While we certainly have had our flops (a whole nother post for a whole nother time) these are a few small things we have learned about activities with students.

God and Country

2010-07-04T16:00:00.003-04:00

I have seen several church signs this week saying things like "God and Country Weekend". This obviously refers to the reality that July 4th, American Independence Day, happened to fall on a Sunday this year. The idea of "God and country" intrigues me, and scares me, for several reasons. Perhaps one of them is that it is early on in our story that God gives the Hebrew people the 10 Words, or 10 Commandments, as a way of orienting themselves to God and to the world.

The third command is simple, "Don't misuse the name of the Lord your God", or more commonly known as, "Do not use the name of the Lord your God in vain." Contrary to popular belief this really has nothing to do with not saying curse words (thank goodness or we'd all be doomed). Rather it is a strict warning never to use God's name to advance any agenda you may have, whether that be a national, personal, or theological agenda.

A good and sober thing to be reminded of when seeing phrases like "God and country" so casually thrown together.

This obviously doesn't mean that we can't have pride in national heritage or celebrate days like July 4th. And it doesn't mean that we can't be patriotic (I wrote about the difference between Patriotism and Nationalism here).

But as a Christian, I must always keep in mind on days like today that my first allegiance is NOT to a flag, but rather to a cross and the Christ who died on it.

The true nation I belong to isn't confined to the borders I inhabit but rather is the nation of priests.

Independence and freedom weren't first and foremost won with a war and declaration, but rather was granted to me through a resurrection.

So we should celebrate the blessings we have been given in Christ today. And we can celebrate and honor national traditions.

But on a day like this, as we crush hot dogs and coke, we ought to also remember how quickly Caesar can garner our allegiance, and how in the Kingdom of God, there is no room for any other allegiance.

Bitterness

2010-07-02T21:55:00.002-04:00

And if someone steals your bike, give them your car as well...

Or write them a note such as:

Some Pics And Thoughts On The Wild West

2010-06-11T19:39:00.007-04:00

We have been in Northern California since Monday and have had a great time. The biggest adjustments have been the time change and not seeing anyone else wearing Chucks. Boots or flip flops seem to be the standard fare for feet out here.

This is Jenny's first time out west and she is really taking in everything. I have had a lot of highlights but the ones that stick out the most to me so far are the runs I have been able to go on.

We were fortunate to have someone give us a cabin for a few days near Tahoe. I cannot describe how nice this place was. Yesterday I ran almost 7 miles high in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There were parts of the run where I felt as if I were the only one around for miles. I ran out of air quickly in the high altitude but I didn't mind slowing down my pace so that I could take in every bit of the snow capped peaks surrounding me on every side.

A run I'll never forget.

Here are some pics and observations from our time out west.

Of course this was a our first stop in Cali. A great experience.

The Starbucks near our cabin in Truckee. I wish our Starbucks on Fruitville Pike had a view like this. At least we can see 283 from ours though.

Tahoe.

I think this dude is making a pass at my wife.

Had lots of Mexican here. Noticed that their salsa here is much thinner than back east. And yet both sides claim to have "authentic" Mexican... someone is lying.

My parents have a lemon tree in their backyard. So Sienna decided to try and pick one for the sweet tea. After about 10 minutes, she succeeded!

I finally learned how my dad writes a sermon. He is old school. I can't wait until Sunday!

Deer all over the place here. My cousins down south would have a field day.

See you on the East Side soon!

MMA in Israel

2010-06-06T08:43:00.002-04:00

A few of my friends just spent the last couple of week in Israel. One of them, Puz, is training in MMA. So he decided to bust out some moves in one of the ruins of an old coliseum. Why wouldn't you?

Notes From This Weekend - Yes/No

2010-06-01T08:08:00.000-04:00

Luke 9.57-62 - Jesus’ Encounter With Three Guys

Kenneth Bailey gives considerable cultural insight on this passage in his book, “Poet and Peasant and Through Peasant Eyes”.

Foxes Have Dens / Birds Have Nest

I love considering the fact that this may have been a subtle reference to political powers of the day. Herod Antipas has the nickname “The Fox”. And the “Birds” may be a reference to an apocalyptic way of talking about the Gentile nations, who were ruling in Israel at the time.

Jesus may very well be saying, “If you think success comes through the sword, through wealth, through exerting power over others, you may not want to walk the road I am going. Because I am going to a cross.”

Do you really want the life and path Jesus offers?

Kingdom of God

Jesus confronts the last two men on the road with Kingdom language. Why?

How does the Kingdom Jesus is forming confront them personally?

How might it confront us today?
In other words, what are the cultural expectations about the way the world works and what we should value today?

How might Jesus confront my assumptions about the way I relate to others? What about my spouse? My enemies?

How might Jesus and his Kingdom confront my assumptions about what makes one successful?

How might Jesus and his Kingdom confront my assumptions about how I spend my time?

How might Jesus and his Kingdom confront my assumptions about consumption? About my use of money?

Luke 13.22-24 / Matthew 7 13-14 – A Narrow Kind of Way

PA Turnpike. I heard Rob Bell, Pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church in MI, use an example like this and was inspired by his illustration to talk about the turnpike.

The worst Turnpike exit is without a doubt King of Prussia when traveling east. Absolute chaos. And in some strange way, an absolute blast!

The book I referenced early on was NT Wright’s latest book, “After You Believe”. Brilliant book by Wright as usual. Wright explores in depth how Christian character is formed and explores the practical ways in which one “Yes” will bring many more “No’s” with it.

One of the classic works on Christian discipline is Richard Foster’s book, “The Celebration of Discipline”. Excellent in every way.

The story I told about Meghan and Jordan, PJ and Ron Greiner, my friend who is now out of debt, are just a sample of the countless stories I get to hear of people who are walking through narrow doors and finding life.

Add your story to the list…

Ha

2010-05-27T10:41:00.002-04:00

Some Weekend Thoughts - Forgiveness

2010-05-25T07:50:00.003-04:00

Wow.

What a weekend at LCBC. I can't tell you how many stories I have been hearing about some of the difficult, painful, yet beautiful work God is doing in the lives of people here. This week we talked about forgiveness and the suffering involved whenever you forgive someone. Because you always end up absorbing the pain instead of inflicting it.

But when you choose to forgive, you stop wrong, hurt, pain, evil in it's tracks. You boldly say, "Evil, hurt, wrong, pain will not have the final word here, because I forgive you."

So here are a few more expanded thoughts from the weekend:

Evil Always Needs 2 Victories to Be Triumphant

This idea is explored in depth by Miraslov Volf. Volf is a theologian who understands suffering and pain. Two books that have rocked me when it comes to forgiveness are ones that he has written. The first is, "The End of Memory: Remembering Rightly In A Violent World", and secondly, "Free of Charge: Giving And Forgiving In A Culture Stripped of Grace".

Both are absolutely brilliant but if you are just starting out on the journey, I would recommend reading "Free of Charge" first.

Forgiveness isn't about forgetting, it's about learning to remember rightly.

Again, check out Volf, particularly "The End of Memory".

"Revenge wells up when we keep playing the tapes over and over again in our heads..."

The song I referenced here was Coldplay's "Death and All His Friends". The last lines are profound, "I don't want to cycle and recycle revenge, I don't want to follow death and all his friends."

Because revenge always leads to a certain kind of death.

What Jesus is calling us into is being a part of The Great Inversion.

Dallas Willard is the one who uses this phrase, "the great inversion", in his book "The Divine Conspiracy". A book that I think should be on every persons book shelf.

The issue for Jesus isn't IF we judge, it's HOW we judge.

Gregory Jones explores the links between judgment and forgiveness in his book, "Embodying Forgiveness". He also explores Dietrich Bonhoffer's (a German theologian who was killed by the Nazi's) work around this subject and explains what Bonhoffer called a "judgment of grace".

Forgiveness simply doesn't mean we condone wrong, hurt, pain, evil. In fact, it calls it out as what it is. It confronts it head on. It judges.

And after it judges, it offers grace.

Judgment is always implicit to forgiveness. But forgiveness doesn't let evil have the final word.

Suspended in one note...

At the end of the message I was at a piano playing one note over and over again. This is what happens when we refuse to forgive. We suspend the person who has wronged us in one note. And ironically we are suspended in that same note as well, unable to move on. Forgiveness allows us, and the person who wronged us, the freedom to move.

It allows for the possibility that the person who wronged us might have a beautiful song that their life can become and allows our own song to play out as well.

Because nobody is damned to living in one note forever.

Not even our worst enemies.

The song that played at the very end of the message was "The Lark Ascending" composed by Vaughn Williams. It is a brilliant work in every way.

Notes From This Weekend

2010-05-17T11:23:00.009-04:00

There is so much more we could have explored around the issue of attachments this last weekend at LCBC but since we didn’t have 4 hours we couldn’t. So here are a few things that didn’t make it, but are valuable enough to throw out there.

Luke 18.18-29 – Rich Young Guy

- Immediately before the story of the rich young guy, a guy who has become skilled at control, Jesus says that the Kingdom way of life belongs to children (v. 15-18). In fact, the word translated "children" in v. 15 is translated other places as "infants". So Jesus is saying, The Kingdom way belongs to people who are kind of like babies."

Many people would argue that these verses are critical to understanding the Rich Young Ruler passage. Why?

Take time to think about all of the traits of a baby.
What are babies like? How is this different than the Rich Young Ruler?
Why would these two stories be back to back? Is there a point in this?

"You know what the commandments are..."

- After the young guy ask Jesus what he needs to do Jesus responds in an interesting way. He quotes the second 5 commandments of the 10 commandments found in Exodus 20.

What is interesting is not the commandments Jesus list but the ones Jesus doesn't list.

What are the commandments Jesus DOESN'T mention?
Why is this important?
What might Jesus be trying to say by intentionally omitting these particular commands?

“He became very sad…” – Attachment

- Jesus brings to light this guy’s attachment. He has exposed the thing this guy has convinced himself he must have in order to be happy.

- Peter Scazzaro does a great job addressing attachments in his book “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”. Definitely worth the read.

Luke 12.22-34 – What Worries You?

- One question to ask yourself if you want to know if you may have an attachment is “What do I worry about?”

However, I think there are other questions we should ask to determine our attachments. For instance, what do we find ourselves angry over? Often times when our attachments are threatened, anger sets in.

- In v. 25 Jesus says that, “Worry can’t add a single moment to your life.” What is the connection between worry and time?

- What are the ethical implications of worry? In other words, is worry just a personal issue, or does it have an effect on our relationships?

- Jesus is a brilliant teacher. He allows the listener to hear this teaching at whatever level they are comfortable with. If you want to just hear this as a teaching about worry, you can. If you want to hear it being about trust, you can. If you want to hear it being about what we strive for and try and control, you can. And if you want to hear it being about our fears, you can.

“Seek the Kingdom…”

- The kingdom is both the future reality in which things will be as God intends them to be and also the present reality where things are as God intends them to be. So it is possible in the here and now to live in the reality of the Kingdom, anticipating the day that it will finally be as it should.

So when Jesus says to “seek” or “strive after” the Kingdom, it is a present reality in which we are to live into. Strive after the kind of life God intends right here, right now for us and for the world.

A masterful book on the Kingdom and its present reality is Graham Tomlin’s “The Provocative Church”. Simple and profound.

“So don’t be afraid…”

- What do you find yourself afraid of?

- What are the connections between fear and striving for control?

- 1 John 4.18 – There is no fear in love.

Fear and love don’t live in the same house. Why not?

- This weekend I mentioned the little book, “The Way To Love” by Anthony DeMello. DeMello was a Jesuit priest from India and this little book has inspired me and challenged me more around the ideas of attachments, love, and fear than just about any other book. Go and get it now!

- There is a beautiful song by Over The Rhine called “Born”. Go and listen to it and reflect on this passage and particularly the issue of love and fear. In fact, just listen to the whole album “The Drunkards Prayer”, one of my favorites.

Luke 18.24-30 – Camels and Needles

- Jesus let’s the guy walk away. An interesting note is that in Mark’s recording of this story (Mark 10) he adds a tiny nuance. He says that when Jesus looked at this man, “He loved him.”

So Jesus loves this guy… and still lets him walk away. Hmmmm.

What are the connections between attachment, control, fear, love, and Jesus allowing this guy to walk away?

- There is a Switchfoot song, “Enough To Let Me Go”, where the chorus says “Do you love me enough to go…”

Wonder if Luke 18 was in their minds?

- Why does Jesus say that it is impossible for the rich (or anyone with attachments) to enter into the Kingdom, the kind of life now that God intends?

Is it because they are bad people or is it because they have already made up their minds about what they need in order to be happy and be fulfilled?

My thoughts on this point have been profoundly shaped, once again, by Anthony DeMello. Particularly his chapters called, “Eye of The Needle” and “The Blind See”.

- The closing song was the One Republic song “Say”. Our actress in the video was Sarah Dodson and our hope is that you didn’t know until the very end whether or not she drowned as a result of not letting go.

Lots Going On

2010-05-13T08:35:00.002-04:00

Dang there has been a lot going on lately. So much that I had to actually turn down box seat tickets to Game 6 of the Flyers / Bruins last night. Of course I really didn't even know what Hockey was until I moved up here 8 years ago. Down south, we had heard rumors of this strange sport played on ice but chalked it up to another fable like Leprechauns and Trolls.

But while I have been running really fast lately, it has been a really rich time for me as well. Lots of very cool conversations happening. It has been a blast developing this series, Flipside, with our team at LCBC. Many of the things I am teaching on in this series have been things I have been wrestling with for years. Self-Righteousness, Attachment, Forgiveness, and Discipline, are things that I am still struggling to figure out and follow Jesus through. My prayer is that the scriptures and teachings of Jesus take our whole community at LCBC further down the road as well. And that we collectively learn to live on the Flipside. Because there are times when I feel like I can't live this way, and then I am reminded of my brothers and sisters and think, "If they can do this, so can I."

One of the highlights for me last weekend was a guy who came up to me and said, "Remember when you preached on debt last year? Well I was $30,000 in debt then. Today I have 0 debt!" If you ever want to get a pastor pumped up, don't tell them they gave a really nice sermon, share with them the ways in which Jesus is changing you and freeing you to live more fully alive. Hearing this guy share his story about debt, hearing the woman with tears in her eyes talk about how she so badly wants to be the child and not the slave, hearing the guy who said that he was always skeptical of church but now isn't because he knows he can still follow Jesus even with his doubts, this will get me up early the next day to do it all over again.

So Jesus, fall fresh on us all again. Teach us. Free us. And make your name famous in our world.

Amen.

Some Thoughts From Weekend At LCBC

2010-05-02T12:41:00.004-04:00

Okay so here are some random thoughts that I just had to put down real quick.

- Random Thought 1: In the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10) isn't it interesting that Jesus doesn't really answer the initial guys question, which was "Who is my neighbor?". Jesus tells the story of the guy beat up and robbed and the Samaritan that helped him and then ask the religious leader, "Now who was being the neighbor?" This forces the religious leader to admit that it was the Samaritan. In other words, the guy is wanting to know who his neighbor is and Jesus says, "The right question to be asking isn't 'who is my neighbor', but rather, who do I need to be a neighbor to."

A subtle flip.

Jesus essentially says, "To answer your question, you are wanting to pick and choose who your neighbor is, but you can't pick and choose your neighbors. You are a neighbor to everyone you come into contact with. So live like a neighbor wherever you find yourself."

Once again, Jesus is absolutely brilliant.

- Random Thought 2: Material things might not be from God's blessing, they might just be the result of our skillfully mastering the art of greed.

- Random Thought 3: How dare we tell hungry people that Jesus loves them before we give them food to eat.

Christian Community

2010-04-29T09:44:00.002-04:00

The role and power of Christian community is profound. As a church this week, thousands of us are eating only rice and beans to try in to identify with the poverty and plight of more than half the world. It has been difficult for me at times, especially when scoping out the cereal in our pantry. But this is the point. To have our cravings revealed. To have our desires questioned.

And there have been times where one of the thoughts that has gotten me through without cheating has been, "I am in this with lots of other people."

I am not alone in this.

And then I read this on our church's Facebook page. It was from a woman who was posting about the experience for her family this week and what it's been like. She said, "One person in our family wanted to quit today, but we would not let him!"

That is community and love.

That's My Boy

2010-04-26T22:09:00.002-04:00

Pic From This Weekend

2010-04-26T19:52:00.002-04:00

This explains everything we did in our Middle School gatherings this weekend.

This Weekend @ LCBC / Whole Gospel

2010-04-25T15:24:00.005-04:00

David killed it this weekend and you should check out the podcast if you weren't at LCBC. I probably got most excited when David talked about the reality that caring for the poor, working for justice, being a voice for the oppressed is NOT a political issue.

This is about following the very God who reveals himself as "hearing the cries of the oppressed". This is about following a Jesus who found himself most often with those who were on the outs of society. A Jesus who mastered downward mobility. A Jesus who found fullness of life in being last, not first. A Jesus who would change the world through Galilean peasants not brilliant fat cat's.

This is about following a Jesus who would invite his followers to loose their lives by caring for the widows and orphans.

So this isn't about political agendas or affiliations. What we want is truth. No political party and no radio show host has the explicit claim on truth.

If it's true, it's Gods.
If it is good, it's God's.
If it is beautiful, it's God's.

And if what is true, good, and beautiful ever runs into conflict with our particular political convictions, or favorite radio host, or traditions, I hope we are willing to part ways with those things and embrace truth and beauty.

Or as David said this weekend, "I hope we are smarter than that."

To sum it up, what we want is the whole gospel. A gospel that is big enough for the entire world. A gospel that is big enough for all political parties. A gospel that is big enough to address the social injustices we see and the personal issues of sin we face. A gospel that is big enough to change eternity and big enough to change today.

The gospel that is only about going to heaven one day isn't the whole gospel.

The gospel that is only about me and isn't about the whole world isn't the whole gospel.

The gospel that is about escaping this world instead of engaging this world isn't the whole gospel.

It is in fact, as Richard Stearns points out, a gospel with a hole in it.

We believe that in Jesus a new age has dawned. A new creation has sprung up. The kingdom has already broken into this world and is not yet fully realized. We believe that Jesus has come and is coming back to reclaim and renew this good world.

And in light of this we work hard to prepare this world for this king.

Because if it is all going to be put back together again we might as well get on with the work now.

"May your kingdom come ON EARTH as it is in heaven."

I Didn't Think I'd Show This Here But...

2010-04-21T22:07:00.000-04:00

Our kids have been loving the promo videos for UE Camp. Mikey is a strange man who filmed these in his basement.

I Know Where They Got The Idea

2010-04-21T09:07:00.003-04:00

There is a leader who is trying to get his people somewhere. But he gets stuck. This leader takes them all to a special place. They arrive at a landmark that is set apart. All the people are attracted by this place and yet scared of its wildness.

And then one morning they see the smoke. This is a smoke that can and will kill. This is a smoke that has a strange and powerful voice and yet can be as intimate and close as someone sitting next to you. And with a mix of wonder and fear, they watched the smoke as it billowed into the sky like smoke from a brick kiln and the whole place shook violently.

Exodus 19 sure would make for a good plot of a television series. I would call it "Lost"... or something like that.

This Takes Me Back...

2010-04-19T22:10:00.001-04:00

Today

2010-04-02T08:46:00.002-04:00

Last night Jesus shared a meal, washed the feet, and sang hymns with those that would betray, deny, and then desert him.

Today he will die for those same people.

Turning Point Wednesday

2010-03-31T20:55:00.002-04:00

Something happened on Wednesday of Holy Week. Mark 14 starts by saying that it is the intent of the religious leaders to secretly arrest Jesus and have him killed after the Passover. But then those plans get moved up a few days.

Wednesday the tides seem to turn. Something happens that becomes the catalyst for this thing, this execution, to go down.

Perhaps it was the woman anointing Jesus at Simon's home. This woman comes and pours perfume over Jesus' head which he interprets as his burial preparation.

He had to know at this point that it would be any day.

It is also on that day that Judas makes up his mind about what to do. By the end of Wednesday Judas is planning what to do with the religious leaders.

So here is what struck me tonight as I was thinking about it.

The tide has turned. Jesus has been anointed for what he believes will be his rapidly approaching burial. Judas is now talking to the religious leaders. And once again Jesus is faced with the question of whether or not he will be faithful to what he believes God has called him to do.

And once again he chooses to go through with it. At least that will be his plan until tomorrow. And then I am sure the question entered into his mind again. Actually, we know it did because of what he struggles through in the garden.

But for today he made the choice to follow through and stick around Jerusalem at least one more day. Even if it would lead him to pick up a cross.

I wonder if he slept on Wednesday night? I wonder if he kept playing that event from earlier in the evening, when the woman poured perfume on him, over and over again in his mind. I wonder if he thought about where Judas might have gone. And I wonder if after thinking about it for a just a second, if Jesus knew in his gut where Judas probably went. I wonder if by Wednesday night Jesus had a more clear picture than ever that this was going to end soon.

And I wonder if, when he thought about it ending right around the time of passover, if he thought about images of lambs being slain for the sins of the world.

One of the real miracles in all of Holy Week to me is that as Jesus reflects on what it all must mean, the anointing, the hatred from the leaders, the passover lambs, and that this will end with a death... he still went through with it.

His faithfulness to God is the faithfulness I need.

And it was that faithfulness that at least got him through to Thursday.

From Whose Perspective?

2010-03-29T10:12:00.001-04:00

I finally met some neighbors the other day that I had been wanting to meet for a while. You know how winter is. Everyone goes indoors and you put personal interaction with other humans on the back burner for about 4 months. But the warm weather has been bringing people out again and it brought out these particular neighbors onto the street for a game of football. So I walked over to talk to them.

They are from Pakistan. While most of the family has lived here for a while they have other family members living with them right now that have recently come over from their native country. It didn’t take long to find things to talk about with Ahmad, Sahd, Navid and Labib. The shirt I was wearing launched us into conversation.

Years ago, my sister spent time in Mongolia. When she returned she brought me back a shirt that would soon become one of my favorite T-Shirts I had ever worn. It is a simple grey shirt with a portrait of Genghis Kahn on the front. And this is the shirt I was wearing when talking with my new friends. I was right in the middle of asking them whether or not they liked basketball when Ahmad asked, “Who is that on your shirt?”

I told him it was Genghis Kahn and he asked who Genghis Kahn was.

I said, “He was a tyrant.”

Then Ahmad asked me, “From whose perspective?”

This completely caught me off guard. Maybe I was struck with the reality that I am so quick to make declarative statements without really knowing anything about what I am actually talking about. Or maybe I was caught off guard because my own insensitivities were exposed. I never even considered how Kahn would be viewed through Pakistani history.

I have been thinking about the question Ahmad asked me a lot since then: From whose perspective?

I have been thinking about how much wisdom there is in asking this question about issues I am wrestling with. Because there is always more than one perspective.

After I had my encounter with Ahmad I have run into people wanting to know what I thought of the whole health care issues playing out (By the way, this is the kind of question people usually ask but don’t really want to know your answer, they just want to raise the issue so they can share with you their own opinion).

So when was asked this question the other day, I took a cue from Ahmad and answered, “From whose perspective?”

Isn’t this at the heart of mercy? In fact, in the Scriptures, the word for mercy carries with it the idea of crawling into someone else’s skin. In other words, looking at things from their perspective. Because as that happens, you may realize that the issues you once thought were black and white are much more complex. You may realize that who you thought was a tyrant was a savior to others.

This is peacemaking. Peacemakers aren’t really liked because they can see both sides. They can see the good in the bad and the bad in the good.

And peacemakers feel like a threat to those on either side of an issue. Jenny and I watched the movie, “Dead Man Walking” the other night. It is the story of a nun who is asked by a convicted murderer to be his spiritual advisor in his last days. She is caught in the middle as a peacemaker.

The victim’s families demonstrate their hatred for her and question how she could ever agree to such a thing. She also knows the truth about the crimes this man has committed and wants justice. But in the end, she does something that others weren’t willing to do. She attempts to crawl into the skin of a man who has murdered.

And she stands alone as her desire to see all perspectives has isolated her.

“Blessed are the peacemakers…”

I am not saying that you can never land on an opinion or form an idea that you hold steadfast to. I just think that if we spent more time thinking about the perspective of others, we may land at that conclusion with more sensitivity and compassion.

Maybe we shouldn’t form such dogmatic positions on issues until we can articulate and genuinely argue the other side of the issue.

Isn’t this one of the things that is so appealing about Jesus? John says that he came full of “grace and truth”. He didn’t give one up for the other.

He had deeply help convictions.
He was gracious beyond measure.

Perhaps the first step to living in the footsteps of the gracious/truth telling Jesus is exploring all of the different perspectives there may be on a particular issue.

Yes, sometimes you will need to land somewhere and form an opinion on issues. But you will be able to defend your position with grace if you have done the difficult work of crawling into the skin of those who may land at a different conclusion than you.

And sometimes you may need to just stay in the middle. As isolating as it may be.

Ha

2010-03-28T21:33:00.003-04:00

Conversation with friend tonight went like this...

Me: I have tried to reach you lately but you changed your number and I didn't know.

Friend: Yeah sorry about that.

Me: That's alright man.

Friend: But I am totally okay with disappointing you.

Jesus Is Disappointing, And Me Too

2010-03-25T12:06:00.001-04:00

I found out I disappointed someone today. Actually, it was a few people.

And I think I am okay with this.

Because I am trying to learn the discipline of disappointment. I call it a discipline because it is intentional. Sometimes you must be down right deliberate about doing things that you know will disappoint others. Most people seem to have an agenda for your life. Or at least expectations of what you should be about and what you shouldn’t. And sometimes that agenda they place on you doesn’t line up with the one God is forming in you. And it takes discipline to align with God’s agenda for your life to the point of saying no to the agenda and expectations others place on you.

A few weeks ago a couple asked me to do their wedding. They laid it out there that they needed someone to do it and had really connected with me as a pastor. Then there was an awkward silence as they waited for my offer to do the wedding.

I never gave it. And I referred them to someone else.

They were visibly disappointed.

But had I jumped in and rescued them from their disappointment by saying, “Okay, I’ll do it”, it wouldn’t have truly been for them… it would have been for me. It would have been to make me feel better.

The reality is this. There are only so many hours in a day, only so many meetings I can go to, and only so many items I can give my attention to.

So someone is going to be disappointed. And that is okay.

I have been fascinated recently with reading all the stories in which Jesus disappointed someone. It happened really often you know. Reading through Luke, and looking for the different ways in which Jesus disappointed people has led me to finding that Jesus was pretty good at the art of disappointment.

To be honest, I think I would have been disappointed with Jesus had I walked along side him 2,000 years ago. I only say that because it seems like most everyone else was disappointed at some level.

He disappointed the religious leaders because they expected him to be a righteous observer of Torah. Which he sort of was, but then there was that little Sabbath issue he had from time to time.

He disappointed the sick in various town because at some point he had to say “no” to healing them in order to move on to the next town or get some much needed rest. How would you like to have been the next in line to be healed only to hear him say, “I’m sorry I can’t get to you, I have to get going to another town now. Have a great day though.”

He disappointed his family to the point of them searching for him so they could implore him to stop acting the way he was acting.

He disappointed John the Baptist to the point of John sending his own disciples to ask Jesus if he was wrong about him.

He disappointed the Jewish nationalist by refusing to be roused by political tensions and instead calling people to watch over their own hearts.

I have never considered that following Jesus may mean learning to disappoint people for the right reasons. And that is the key. I don’t want to disappoint people for the wrong reasons.

Disappointing others because I am angry at them and want revenge is wrong.

Disappointing others because of apathy is wrong.

Disappointing others to make a point to them is wrong.

But disappointing others because I prioritize my time with family… right.

Disappointing others because of my convictions about how God has called me to use my time… right.

Disappointing others by choosing not to do something for them out of guilt… right.

The reality is that everyone you surround yourself with has expectations of you. And sometimes those expectations don’t line up with what is best for you, the calling God has placed on you, or your family.

And nobody will say no for you. But saying yes to someone out of fear of disappointing them is more damaging in the end than saying no. Saying yes for the wrong reasons leads to a detachment of the self. It leads to resentment. And it leads to a life completely out of balance.

So let me just put it out there now.

If you know me, I will disappoint you.

I will not be able to return every call or every email. And sometimes it will be intentional because I just have to be about other things, whether it is work related or time with family.

I will not be able to attend every wedding I am invited to.
I will not be able to meet for coffee with everyone who may want to.
I will give a teaching you do not like.
I will say things that make you shake your head.

I will do my best to make sure that these things are done with the right motivation and intentions. But will fail in that as well.

But I will follow the Jesus who disappoints for all the right reasons. And I will be at peace with that.

Every Now And Then

2010-03-20T20:33:00.002-04:00

Every now and then you get to see something truly beautiful.

You get a glimpse of the kingdom breaking in.

And after seeing it, trying to describe it would rob it of it's beauty.

So I will not try.

But I got to see it tonight.

Some Friends

2010-03-18T09:29:00.002-04:00

There are some friends that keep you going. They are very few and far between. But they are the ones that all you have to do is be in their presence for a few moments and life makes more sense. They are the friends that you feel safe with because they know all about you and love you the same. And I am grateful that I was lucky enough to spend the last few days with that friend for me. Kevin and I have been best friends for 17 years now. We have gone through it all together.

We have seen each other in our worst and best. We have made mistakes together and won games together. We have been in each others weddings and watched each others family's grow. It doesn't matter how much time goes between our visits or how many miles are between our homes I know that guy loves me deeply and I love him and his family the same way.

The last few days, Kevin and his wife Maria honored us and graced us with their presence by driving out from Indiana to spend some time with us. I practically begged them to move out here. Why wouldn't I? I am a better man, husband, thinker, when I spend time with them.

But even if we never live anywhere close to each other it is good to know that I am known and I am loved.

A Fast From Fasting

2010-03-16T07:18:00.001-04:00

A Lenten confession. The season of lent, the period of fasting that leads up to Easter, has been a rough one for me. It started with an Ash Wednesday in which I found myself distracted by my Grandaddy’s funeral. I had been contemplating what to “give up” for Lent and then death unexpectedly called Grandaddy home. And so, Alabama called me home. It’s not that I couldn’t start the Lenten season in Alabama but I just felt like everything was off. Like trying to play a pick up basketball game at 31 years old. You can do it, but things are… off.

The irony in it all is that Lent is a season to consider death. It is a period to be spent in wilderness. A season to confront all of those things that rob us of life. The hope is that on the other side of Lent is resurrection. But since my Grandaddy’s funeral, and missing the observance of Ash Wednesday, I simply have not been able to actively practice any sort of formal fasting this season.

I was at an Ash Wednesday service a couple of years ago and the rector of the parish said that during Lent she was fasting from fasting. So I have been telling myself that this is what I am doing this season. I am fasting from fasting. Because one of the points of fasting is to draw your mind towards meditative thoughts in those moments you are longing for what you are fasting from.

The intent is that when your stomach growls, you pray.
When you want to watch TV, you reflect on the person of Jesus.
When you are craving coffee, you rehearse scripture.

And this is why this fast from fasting has actually served the same purpose. I am missing fasting. I want to fast right now in the same way I want coffee, or food, or TV at times. I feel like I am missing something. Like I am not complete right now.

And isn’t that the point.

This Lenten season, I have actually had my mind drawn back to my own state of deprivation, my own lack, my own need of redemption, each and every time I have been reminded that I am not fasting. Which has been frequent.

It was a death that threw me off. Death has gotten me out of rhythm. I have been fighting to admit this over the last 4 weeks. I have found myself angry that a funeral could get me spiraling out of sequence so easily. But that death has led me to a new of way thinking about life this Lenten season.

And this is the great mystery and beautiful irony of the Lenten / Easter season isn’t it?

That out of death comes life.

Holy Spirit And Zits

2010-02-21T12:49:00.003-05:00

We have been asking our Middle Schoolers to read the scriptures every day. Particularly the Proverbs. And our students have been discovering some very cool things. Some have been journaling and blogging about the things they are learning. Some are just reading and then asking, "How do I live this out?"

So one girl in particular shared her story today with her Life Group. She is an 8th grader who has been reading the Proverbs every day and has been struck with the way in which relationships can so easily be damaged by our words and our actions.

So she got out a white board at her home and wrote down the names of every person she could think of that she has played a part in damaging their relationship. She then went on to personally write them each a note explaining what she had been learning and taking ownership for her part in their damaged friendship.

When describing why she did this she said that as she read the Proverbs she just had this gnawing feeling like she needed to make this right. She said it was like a zit that you just keep picking at but it won't go away.

Such is the Holy Spirit.

Words And Names Your Child Should Know

2010-02-19T13:47:00.003-05:00

I saw some words and names today that caused me to wonder how many people would even recognize those words. Then I thought, "I want my children to know the significance of these words":

Jim Crow
Bus Boycott
Edmund Pettus Bridge
Selma
Ebenezer Baptist
Rosa Parks
Sit In

This Weekend @ LCBC

2010-02-13T14:07:00.003-05:00

Come on out this weekend. I'll be talking about submission, headship, killing ants, doctors in Haiti, respecting husbands and everything else in between.

Here we go...

If You Have Never Read...

2010-02-11T10:39:00.002-05:00

MLK's "Letter From A Birmingham Jail", you seriously ought to. Here are some of my favorite pieces. Which one stands out the most to you?

"We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."

"We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied."

"Sometimes a law is just on its face and unjust in its application."

"I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"..."

"I have tried to stand between these two forces, saying that we need emulate neither the "do nothingism" of the complacent nor the hatred and despair of the black nationalist. For there is the more excellent way of love and nonviolent protest."

"In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church. But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the church. How could I do otherwise? I am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson and the great grandson of preachers. Yes, I see the church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists."

What In The World Is God Up To?

2010-02-05T08:36:00.005-05:00

Last Sunday we had our first gathering down at Liberty Place (thanks Matt for capturing it through pics you took). We asked people who were interested in starting things up at Liberty Place to show up. And over 600 popped in for the party. What in the world is in store when we launch Liberty Place for good on March 7?

Things feel different right now at LCBC. Like we are on the edge of new life.

I love the local church. I love the potential of the local church and the power that is contained within it. It is the power to breathe life into the world as the Spirit puts Jesus on display through his body. What a sacred thing.

And this is why I love our approach and strategy with multiple campuses throughout the region. The church isn't a place. It is a people. A people spread out through neighborhoods, schools, pubs, coffee shops, and places of work. It is a people committed to making Jesus famous and putting this new way of life, this kingdom way, on display wherever we may find ourselves. And so as we launch campuses into the very neighborhoods where our people live, we implicitly communicate that the gospel isn't about you coming to us, it is about us coming to you. It isn't about us getting to God. It is about God getting to us.

The word became flesh and moved into the neighborhood. And so will we.

I am bored with the idea that church is where we all get together for an hour on Sunday's to sing some songs, hear a message, and shake a few hands. That doesn't interest me. It really never has. I think what most people want is to be a part of a movement. To be a part of a transforming work in their own lives and in their communities. People want to see addictions broken, marriages restored, kindness extended to strangers, and the poor taken care of. People are longing for the church to rise up and be what it is supposed to be in this world. And as that happens Jesus will be made famous. Because it is his work. His church. His life.

And this is the claim Jesus makes. That he came to give us life. To make us alive in ways we never have been alive. This is what I get excited about. If this message of Jesus is truly life giving, it ought to permeate and affect ever aspect of our lives. I have the feeling that, like me, most people are tired and bored of the Christian faith being relegated to just "coming to church".

But what if Christian faith was really about being changed and transformed by a faith in Jesus that was so real that we would be would be willing to give our very lives for it.

What if we could be changed... if we could experience what it means to be fully human and brought to life at home, at work, with neighbors, wherever we found ourselves... I think people are yearning for that kind of faith. The kind that affects all of their being. The kind that is contagious. I know that's the kind of faith I want.

What is about to happen? It is estimated now that since the year 2000, Lancaster, York, and Berks counties (all bordering each other) have grown by 104,000 people. If you add in Chester county (also bordering Lancaster County) you would add in another 58,000 people who have moved here. Which means that in just the last decade, there are over 150,000 people that have moved into our surrounding counties. We are in the fastest growing region in PA. 150,000 people that need grace, love, Jesus.

Seriously, what is about the happen?

My heart beats very fast when I think about the potential of the church. Of LCBC.

The best is yet to come.

Why I Haven't Posted In A While

2010-02-04T08:54:00.003-05:00

Because I haven't had much to say.

I guess the truth is I have had too much to say. My thoughts have been swirling with lots of things and I haven't had the ability to really articulate most of them.

My thoughts have been all over the place about our winter retreat we took our 7th and 8th graders to. Incredible.

My thoughts have been everywhere with some of the things that are happening here at LCBC. Lots of energy, lots of change, lots of conversations. I feel like we are a cusp of big things at LCBC and what God wants to do in this region through his church.

My thoughts have been running wild with my family. Silas is 1 now. Sienna is about to turn 4 and I just find such fulfillment in my family. And yes, Silas is taking his first steps. Wobbly though they may be.

So I have felt overwhelmed at trying to articulate all that has been in my heart and mind recently. And the difficult part is that I have felt pent up as a result.

More later...

Lords Prayer // This Day

2010-01-22T10:15:00.000-05:00

Read
Matthew 6.9-13

Think
“Give us our food for today…”

At times we are at a disadvantage in reading the scriptures. We simply miss some of the subtleties of what is being said and done. Matthew’s writing has the most Jewish influence of all the gospel writings and there are threads and themes running through Matthew that most of us in 2010 non-Jewish America simply miss.

Some say that Matthew is making a significant point with the chronology of the events of the first few chapters so that the Jewish listeners connected it back to their own story in the Torah (the first 5 books of OT). Think about how beautifully constructed it is.

Matt. 2 - Jesus leaves Egypt. Sound familiar?

Matt. 3 – Jesus enters into body of water and “crosses over”. Hmmmm?

Matt. 4 - Jesus enters into wilderness for 40 days. Seems like I remember wilderness and 40 from another story.

Matt. 5 - Jesus goes up onto a mountain and gives instruction. But I remember another someone going up onto a mountain and receiving instruction.

You get the point.

But it puts these words into another perspective when we consider the first listeners would have been thinking about Exodus, Moses, and their journey out of slavery. Because it was on this journey that God provided bread for them each and every day. They called it “manna”. And we learn in Exodus 16 that God would give them “enough for each day.” Which sounds eerily like Jesus’ words when he says, “Give us our food for today…” God’s people were instructed not to collect more “manna” than they needed for that day.

However, some lost confidence that God would really look after them, so they hoarded the manna. And I get why they collected more. I would be lying if I said that wouldn’t have been an issue for me. I have two kids and a wife to feed… and I can put down some food as well.

I think there is a deep-rooted suspicion in most of us that God will really come through in providing for us. Or at least providing for us in the way we think God ought to.

We tend to see the world through the same lens as those first Israelites so many years ago – the lens of scarcity. In the end, many of us are suspicious that there just isn’t enough manna to go around. So we keep a little more than we really need.

Have you ever seen a store advertisement that said, “One Day Only Sale”, or “Biggest Sale Ever”? What are these marketers doing? They are playing off of our suspicion that there really isn’t enough to go around. Not enough clothes. Not enough cars. Not enough iPhones. Not enough Bowflex’s. So if we don’t get on this deal, we may miss out. If we don’t get our manna now, there might not be enough for tomorrow.

But Jesus once again calls us into a life of beautifully simple trust. And this prayer puts that kind of trust on display. The trust really isn’t that God will give us what we need. What we are really trusting is that God may know better than us what we really do need.

This is all God ever promises. Enough for today. Tomorrow has enough worries of it’s own. Just trust that you are given enough for today.

Just enough for today.

Just enough for today.

Pray
God all things in heaven and earth belong to you. You provide exactly what we need and when we need it. Help me today to trust that you will give me just enough for today and that this is sufficient. Give me just enough food for today. Give me just enough love for today. Give me just enough grace, patience and kindness for today.

Today I say no to hoarding more manna and trust that you will give me a new batch for tomorrow.

Live
There is something so good about “counting your blessings” every now and then. Take some time today and focus on all the good God has given and provided for you. Think relationally, materially, and spiritual blessings as well.

Lords Prayer // Daddy God

2010-01-21T08:33:00.003-05:00

This weekend, I'll be heading a bit south of here, North East, MD, with about 180 7th and 8th Graders and adults who love them. We're heading to Avalanche, our winter retreat for Middle Schoolers. Part of the way we prepare our leaders going is to send them daily reflections on some of the concepts we will be exploring with students this weekend.

Over the next few days, we will walk through the Lords Prayer in Matthew 6 almost line by line and look at what it reveals about who God is and who we are.

So here are the some of the reflections we sent leaders. I'll post them day by day.

Read
Matthew 6.9-13

Think
“Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.”

The week of Thanksgiving was a good week for me. I was keeping the kids all week while Jenny was away. In the middle of that week, Silas suddenly learned to put his tongue to the roof of his mouth and sound out the word “Da-Da”. He kept repeating it, over and over again, like he had found his purpose in life up to that point.

There is something intimate about the word “Daddy”, “Dad”, or “Da-Da”. Nobody else calls me that but my children. And they call me that because of the special relationship that we have.

I am their daddy and they know it.

In Luke’s account of this prayer (Luke 11), it is the disciples who ask Jesus to teach them to pray. And it’s like Jesus says, “Okay, I’ll teach you to pray. Start by saying, ‘Daddy…’”

The word Jesus used here was the word “abba” which was an intimate name for your daddy.

Perhaps Jesus knows that in a world where God feels distant, we need to be reminded that God is actually close. That he is near us. That he is our daddy. Our father. Our papa. Our abba.

I would suggest that most of us get the “may your name be kept holy” part of that first sentence. We know God is God. Holy. Perfect.

But sometimes our Daddy God gets crowded out and we forget that this holy God is intimate, close, and delighting over us as a daddy delights in his children.

Your Daddy doesn’t just love you, he likes you as well.

Your Daddy is touched that you would even take a moment to reflect on him by reading this.

Your Daddy sings praises over you.

Your Daddy knows you are a child and has patience for you.

Your Daddy is honored that you would even take 2 minutes to crawl up in his lap and talk about your day.

Your Daddy dreams of ways to provide for you.

So as we prepare for Avalanche and exploring this Daddy God of ours, may our day be filled with thoughts of our loving Father.

Pray
Today, simply say this prayer to the rhythm of your breathing. As you inhale, say, “Father…” and as you exhale, say, “I belong to you.” Repeat this until it becomes engrained the background of your thoughts.

“Father, I belong to You.”

“Father, I belong to You.”

Live
Throughout the day today, as you think of it, write down times in your life where God has proven himself to be close and intimate to you. Write down those moments where you have felt the closeness of your Daddy God.

When I Want To Smile...

2010-01-19T20:52:00.001-05:00

Did Anyone Else See The Sunset Last Night?

2010-01-14T08:35:00.001-05:00

Like radiant light of sunset sky
Your love has caught my wayward eye.

Like cold wind blowing through my bones
Spirit move, and make your home.

Books of 2009

2010-01-11T11:16:00.002-05:00

Jenny and I spent some time last night reflecting on 2009. One of the things I started thinking about were the books that shaped me. So here is a list of some/most of them.

Prodigal God by Tim Keller

Faith and Doubt by John Ortberg

The Fidelity of Betrayal by Peter Rollins

The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns

The Search To Belong by Joe Meyers

Justice by Michael Sandel

Out of Egypt by Anne Rice

Road to Cana by Anne Rice

Take Your Best Shot by Austin Gutwein

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

The Porning of America by Carmine Sarracino and Kevin Scott

The Grand Weaver by Ravi Zacharias

What did you read last year?

One Day

2010-01-09T17:06:00.003-05:00

I was at our 4:30 tonight and was sitting behind a couple that I know. This is a couple that is struggling to make sense of some things.

He will pass away soon because of cancer.
She was by his side, arm wrapped around his.

I couldn't sing the songs we were all singing, but rather I watched this couple sing them together. I watched this soon to be widow wipe tears from her eyes while singing her heart out.

And the words we sang had new power and meaning to me because I am sure they took on new meaning to them.

Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, You never let go, through every high and every low.
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You.

Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

So... Alabama Football

2010-01-07T08:14:00.002-05:00

Tonight is a big night for me. It's a big night because the University of Alabama plays for their 13th national title. But it's a big night for other reasons as well. Two of the largest religious gatherings in the country take place every single week in the state of Alabama. Each venue, one in Tuscaloosa and the other in The Plains, capturing the pentecostal devotion of 90,000 people who are swept away in the spirit of pigskin.

The way football is in Alabama is hard to explain to people not from there. There is only one thing you will hear people talking about ALL year long there, and that is college football. Second to that is High School football. And then a distant third is bar-b-que. You determine your allegiance at a young age as to who you will pull for, the University of Alabama or Auburn University. Will you spend the rest of your life saying, "Roll Tide Roll", or "War Eagle"? This is the question each resident is confronted with at a young age. However, for most this decision is already handed down through family. I guess the theology of football leans towards pre-destination.

So tonight, when I watch "my" Alabama Crimson Tide take the field against Texas, it will be more than a game for me. It is a sense of connection to something bigger.

When I watch Alabama play, I remember my Grandmamma. I spent summers at Grandmamma's house and one of my most clear memories of their place are the portraits of the iconic UofA coach Bear Bryant hung in various places at their home. I learned as a young boy that he was indeed the greatest coach to ever walk a sideline. I remember Grandmamma taking me to Bear Bryant's grave. A pilgrimage of sorts. And as I grew up, it was a guarantee that at some point in the first hour of my visit with her, Alabama football would be a topic of conversation. I wish I could call her up today and ask her what she was feeling about tonight's game.

When I watch Alabama play, I remember where I was New Year's night, 1993. I was in Gadsden, AL watching the Tide play the Miami Hurricanes in the national championship. I remember like it was yesterday Lamar Thomas from Miami catching a pass and bolting down the sideline only to be run down by George Teague who then stripped the ball away from him and started running the other way. I remember dancing, hugging, high fiving, and watching that replay over and over again with all of us saying, "Did he really just do that?" I remember after Alabama won the title getting in the back of someone's truck and driving through the streets honking the horn while others came out of their homes to do the same (remember this is Alabama).

When I watch Alabama play, I remember Paul Worley. When I was a boy living in AL, Paul lived down the street and his family were friends of our family. He was a bit older than me but he would humor me by playing a little game called "Alabama Football". One Christmas, maybe when I was 4, I received the most wondrous of all gifts. A full UofA uniform, tailored of course for the 4 year old. I'm talking pants, jersey, shoulder pads, and helmet. I would dress up, run out of the tunnel (aka kitchen door) and onto the field (aka yard). Then Paul, an avid Alabama fan himself, would just let me tee off on him for about a half hour. Coincidentally, I was with Paul in 1993 when they won their last championship, and that was a great night for everyone.

When I watch Alabama play, I remember my dad giving me and my brother an envelope Christmas of 1999. In that envelope were tickets to the Orange Bowl that would be played in a just a few days from then. I remember getting to the Orange Bowl and seeing a sea of Crimson. I remember watching Shawn Alexander run the ball over Michigan and thinking, "That guy is special." And I remember having our hearts broke by that Michigan guy named Tom Brady who did something he would become famous for, leading his team in a come from behind victory. That was a great night. We talked in the car about how incredible an experience it was for us and replayed the game over in our heads.

So tonight is about a football game and a team. Sort of.

I really do hope they win. But my world won't fall apart if they don't. Because Alabama football is really more about Grandmamma. And it's about Paul Worley, and my dad and brother. It's about all those things that tie me to something bigger. To the people in my life who I love and who love me.

But just for good measure... Roll Tide Roll!

Wife Of My Youth

2010-01-05T07:50:00.005-05:00

Reading Proverbs 5.18-19 this morning made me think of this Derek Webb song...

"Please, Before I Go"
Kiss me once more please, before I go
Kiss me sweetheart, and I won't go no more

Cause I feel a little drunk
Like a man who just can't get enough
And there's just one thing that can cool my head

Like an addict to his fix
So am I to your sweet lips
The wife of my youth, my drug of choice

A Bit Of A Nuance From This Weekend

2010-01-04T10:01:00.002-05:00

Teaching should leave us with more questions than answers. It should generate conversation and should leave the listener grappling and struggling to make sense of the teaching. This weekend, I had several conversations with people after some of the gatherings that inspired because this was taking place. They were genuinely wrestling with the subversive nature of the text we were dealing with and the implications it might have for them.

One of the challenges, and freedoms at the same time, of having 40 minutes or so to unpack an idea is that you can't ever hit every nuance and angle that could be hit on.

But one woman on Saturday night talked to me about one issue I thought was worth addressing.

We talked this weekend about belonging and giving ourselves over to living as one new people in Jesus (Eph. 2). We talked about what it might look like if the old walls and categories that tend to separate us were broken down and we were freed to live together, focusing on what we had in common more than what was different between us.

This woman asked me if she needed to live in this type of community with someone who abused her and used their power to hurt her, emotionally, physically, sexually, etc...

I told her a few things.

First, wisdom says that you don't need to keep putting yourself in situations that you get hurt. Nobody would argue that it is wise to walk down the middle of traffic on the interstate during rush hour because of the harm it could bring. But when two people are involved, it gets more complicated for some reason, mostly because we still have an implicit pressure that says we are responsible for someone else's health and feelings. Which isn't true.

So wisdom says, stop walking into traffic, stop going back to the source of your hurt and pain.

Second, and this is where it gets muddy, we have a responsibility to love others, even our enemies, even our abusers.

However, we have softened the idea of love and relegated it to romanticized visions of giving out hugs and kisses freely as the snow falls on us in Central Park. And so love is deeply tied to the emotions for most of us, which it is, to a degree. The problem is that emotions, like anything, can be manipulated and easily turned. And this woman has no doubt lived under the idea that if she were to get herself out of the situation where she is experiencing abuse, she isn't fully demonstrating love to the abuser at least not the Hollywood kind.

And I say that's bull.

I told her and I'll say it again, sometimes the most loving thing you can do for another is to leave them behind. Do we really think by going back to someone who is abusive in any capacity, who exploits and manipulates, is truly loving them. I mean the kind of love that sees the potential in every person and believes that they can live as fully human beings, as God created them. When we enable and allow people to continue destructive habits, we aren't loving them at all. We are doing the most unloving thing, we are allowing them to loose their humanity, and at our expense.

Isn't there hope for reconciliation? Sure. I have friends who have gone through hell with people close to them, and had to split for a while until reconciliation was possible. But it is always possible. This is the miracle of grace.

Can't God change them? Of course.

Are you saying when things get bad between me and someone, to just bail on it? No way. Love is patient. I am specifically talking about when there are known patterns of abuse and exploitation that are killing the spirit inside both the one abusing and the one receiving.

What about Jesus going to the cross, embracing the abuse of others and redeeming it? There is a significant difference in my mind between persecution as a result of our faith, and abuse as injustice. And we shouldn't forget that Jesus felt the tide turning against him a few times and didn't stand there and take it but actually slipped away and removed himself from the situation.

What about loving our enemies? Again, the most loving thing we can do is not allow injustice.

So in the end, I told this woman to do the really loving thing, and not allow this other person to loose any more of their own humanity by subverting you to their manipulation and abuse.

It was at this point, that this woman broke down, with tears in her eyes and threw her arms around me. I didn't know what to say other than, "Go and live in freedom." and she said, "I think I've just found it."

May we live in true love. The kind that says, "I love you too much to let you keep doing this to me and to yourself."

This Weekend // LCBC

2010-01-01T14:12:00.002-05:00

I am starting to get to the point where I can't wait to talk now about the things I am learning and ready to share this weekend.

So if you are around, pop on in to LCBC this weekend as we talk about belonging, isolationism, back yard decks, a boy with one arm, why we text so much, and what it means to be one new people in Christ.

Should be fun!

Grace To Suffer

2009-12-29T19:44:00.003-05:00

I have a friend who lives in a very dangerous country that is growing increasingly volatile. Sometimes I pray that they will be safe. But tonight when I was praying with Sienna, I prayed that they might have the grace to suffer well. I really don't even know what that means, only that I felt compelled to pray that way.

I recently read a pastor's article about the role of technology in the church today and the capacity it has given the church to reach more and more people. One thing that they said captured my attention. This isn't verbatim, but they essentially said, "If the early church could lead thousands of people to Christ with the limited resources they had, imagine the potential the American church has today with the almost limitless technological resources we have."

For some reason this idea disturbed me. And after reflecting on this pastor's words a bit longer, a thought struck me.

What is the one thing the early church had that we, in American churches, don't have? It is a powerful force that all the technology in the world cannot get close to and we cannot manufacture it.

Perhaps my opening words tipped my hand, but what do you think it is?

A Thank You Note To "The South"

2009-12-28T08:33:00.004-05:00

Dear "The South",

I wanted to send you a quick thank you note for our time together over the last week and a half.

Thank you for reminding me that...

... pork taste so much better when it is covered in bar-b-que sauce. Especially Jim N Nicks.

... "Jesus saves". Your billboards every quarter mile were inspirational and just after I had driven a few hundred feet and needed another reminder, there your billboards were.

... sunny and warm Christmas days are just as great as snow covered ones.

... the old systems and lines that once divided people can and should be broken down.

... home isn't bound to a place, but to a people you belong to.

... what it was like to drive on roads that didn't have pot holes.

... slowing down to watch cardinals play and pine trees sway does something for the soul.

I always love my time with you. The older I have gotten the more I have appreciated traditions and feeling a sense of rootedness to the past. And I can't help feeling that I have those roots as I drive down your roads.

See ya soon!

Light

2009-12-25T09:40:00.002-05:00

That blessed light has broken into the world. The darkness cannot win.

For You will break the yoke of their slavery
You will lift the heavy burden from their shoulders.

On this Christmas day, in the middle of cleaning up the wrapping paper, may we not forget that peace has come and is coming. That burden have been lifted and are being lifted.

May the peace of Christ reign in your heart today.

The light has come.

I Gather With The Church Each Week...

2009-12-20T11:36:00.001-05:00

to be reminded that the Spirit is not limited to moving and breathing through any particular denomination, music style, accent, language, or region but rather the Spirit moves through beautiful variety.

Invention

2009-12-18T11:59:00.001-05:00

So what do you think is the most revolutionary invention of the first decade of the 2000's?

I Gather With The Church Each Week...

2009-12-13T12:55:00.001-05:00

to be reminded that my money and stuff doesn't own me.

Why Are Christians So Scared?

2009-12-12T09:43:00.002-05:00

There is an interesting debate going on right now about a city-council member of Asheville, NC. Some of the community members are beside themselves because he is an atheist. Apparently, in NC this actually is an issue due to a statement in the state constitution that disqualifies officeholders "who shall deny the being of Almighty God."

You can read about it here.

What I am interested in is the Christian response to this.

One quote I read today was this, "My father was a Baptist minister. I'm a Christian man. I have problems with people who don't believe in God."

So here are my questions after reading that quote:

Why does he have problems with such people?
Should Christians have problems with atheists?
What is being threatened by having an atheist in city council?

I was talking to a friend the other day about how we often times draw dividing lines between people. We are really good at defining our camp (whether it is racial, economics, religious, etc...) and labeling everyone else outside of our camp, everyone who looks, thinks, acts differently, as "those people".

I know that this is a human issue, not strictly a religious issue, or a Christian issue. All humans seem to do this. And it has led to horrible evil such as ethnic tribal wars in Africa, hate crimes in America, and genocide in Asia.

But I am particularly interested as to why Christians draw these black and white lines so tightly.

Why is this?

I am seriously asking.

Why do you think Christians draw the lines so tight as to who and what they can accept and who and what they can't?

And by the way, I am as guilty as the next person.

But I want to change.

What Do You Want To Give Away?

2009-12-10T19:07:00.003-05:00

Conversation with Sienna tonight:

Mommy: "Sienna, do you know why we celebrate Christmas?"

Sienna: "To get my new Belle doll?"

Mommy: "No... because God sent Jesus into the world."

Daddy: "That is why we give gifts Sienna. Because we remember that God has sent us the gift of Jesus. In fact, in just a few days Sienna, we are going to look at some of our stuff and choose what to give away."

Sienna: "I thought I was getting something."

Daddy: "You will, but we will also choose some things to give away. When we get, we need to also give. In fact, Jesus said it's actually better to give than get."

Sienna: "I think I'll give away....... Silas."

The Logic of Incarnation

2009-12-09T07:48:00.003-05:00

I am slowly reading through Peter Rollins' book "The Orthodox Heretic". He basically writes modern day parables and then gives a brief commentary on each one. The ones I have read so far have been deeply stirring. He wrote one on a woman named Sophia who dedicated her life to translating the Word of God for her community. However, each time she had enough money saved up to run a print, disaster would strike a town near her and she would give that money to helping those in pain and who lost everything. This happened a couple of times. In the end, the town remembers her for translating the Word of God in profound ways simply by her acts of caring for the poor.

In Rollins' commentary on this parable he says a few things that stood out to me:

"God's Word cannot be heard without being heeded; it cannot be received without being incarnated. Indeed, it is only in being incarnated that one can say that it has been received."

He says that the words "Love your neighbor" are just that, simply words, nothing particularly special or sacred about them. But, "The idea of loving one's neighbor is the Word of God, not when it is merely affirmed, but when it is lived. Therefore, it is impossible to affirm God's Word apart from becoming that Word, apart from being the place where that Word becomes a living, breathing act." In other words, it is only in our putting flesh on the words, that now the non-sacred words take on sacredness.

"...the Word of God is an incarnated Word that is lived."

"The Word is formed only when it is performed; it exist in the world only when it is lived out by the subject who dwells fully in the world. Is this not the logic of incarnation?"

Consumer

2009-12-07T22:10:00.003-05:00

So what are you doing this advent season to remind yourself that, at the core of your identity, the word "consumer" has no place?

I Gather With The Church Each Week...

2009-12-06T10:08:00.002-05:00

to be reminded that the Christ-child didn't come as a CEO whose power was found in money, status, and influence. But rather, he came as a crying baby, born in the dirt, whose power was found in a towel as he washed feet.

Love Myself

2009-12-02T07:20:00.003-05:00

This morning I was talking to Sienna. I was sharing with her a passage I am trying to memorize over advent.

And then she goes, "Guess what I learned last night?"

Me: "What?"

Sienna: "I love myself. I love myself. I love myself."

I laugh and then there is a pause.

Sienna: "Do you love yourself daddy?"

Me: "I'm learning to love myself."

Me: "Do you know why we can love ourselves?"

Pause again. Sienna looks at me with huge smile.

Sienna: "Because Jesus loves us."

The Real Question Is...

2009-12-01T20:53:00.003-05:00

who would win in a fist fight between Bentham, Kant, Rawls and Aristotle.

My money would be on Bentham.

Rick Warren on Meet The Press

2009-11-30T20:19:00.002-05:00

I watched this interview with Rick Warren from last week on Meet The Press. I thought he had some profound things to share.

He talked about his one role as a Christian being to love everyone. He said that should he stumble upon someone hurt or needing help, he could never ask them, "Are you an illegal immigrant?". The government can worry about that, but his role is simply to love, no questions asked.

And he talked about fundamentalism and defined it as such... Fundamentalism is when you stop listening.

I like that.

Advent

2009-11-30T08:03:00.004-05:00

The coming...

The arrival...

As this new season of Advent begins, we remember light breaking into darkness. We anticipate Jesus.

We announce that the king is coming. That light will win in the end.

We reflect on the dark corners of our own lives that still wait for that light to break through. We rejoice that this light bearing king plays no favorites. That he comes not to get gifts, but to give gifts to anyone who simply wants it.

We announce that it is in this baby that God has made himself known, God indeed is with us, Emmanuel. We recognize it as foolishness and make ourselves fools for the wonder and mystery that is this child.

So make straight the paths and level the mountains. Clear the road and keep your eyes wide open. He is coming...

"The Trumpet Child" - Over The Rhine
The trumpet child will blow his horn
Will blast the sky till it’s reborn
With Gabriel’s power and Satchmo’s grace
He will surprise the human race

The trumpet he will use to blow
Is being fashioned out of fire
The mouthpiece is a glowing coal
The bell a burst of wild desire

The trumpet child will riff on love
Thelonious notes from up above
He’ll improvise a kingdom come
Accompanied by a different drum

The trumpet child will banquet here
Until the lost are truly found
A thousand days, a thousand years
Nobody knows for sure how long

The rich forget about their gold
The meek and mild are strangely bold
A lion lies beside a lamb
And licks a murderer’s outstretched hand

The trumpet child will lift a glass
His bride now leaning in at last
His final aim to fill with joy
The earth that man all but destroyed

I Gather With The Church Each Week

2009-11-29T10:06:00.001-05:00

to be reminded that God is still writing a good story in my life.

Why do you?

TGiving Day

2009-11-27T07:48:00.002-05:00

What a great day yesterday was. Matt and Pearl came over and spent the entire day here. We cooked great food together, played games and talked for a few hours about moral dilemma's! But the best part of all was when the doorbell rang around 3pm. I went to the door and there was my beautiful wife fresh off a 10 hour trip from GA. We weren't expecting her until tomorrow, but her surprise made the day complete.

Hope you had a great one as well!