Tension

I had the chance to talk to someone recently who knows what it is like to have such huge responsibilities at such a young age. He is a late twenty something like myself and gets the opportunity to speak to the 10,000 people who are a part of their church community and something like 60,000 people online who subscribe to the podcast.

It was good to talk to him because there were just some things we didn't have to articulate to one another about teaching and the weight and responsibility that comes with it, we just knew what the other person felt.

One of the things we talked about was the tension that each Christian must wrestle with of living huge lives and yet being so humble that you are okay with never being known.

This tension comes to light in no more profound ways for me than the weekends I teach on the main stage at LCBC. Everything in me can't wait to teach and open up this mysterious text called the bible and explore it with over 7,000 people. And everything in me hates it because I don't trust my heart enough to think that I don't love teaching because I want to be known by people.

So I was listening to some songs recently that totally get at the tension. The first is the chorus from Brandi Carlile's "Shadow On The Wall" and the other is the chorus from Delirious' "History Maker". These two chorus' combined do a pretty good job of summing up how I feel when I get the opportunity to teach on the main stage at LCBC.

How I long to be
A shadow on the wall
I will make no sound at all
And when the sun goes down
The shadow on the wall
It cannot be seen at all

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land.
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind.
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again.